the sun's always there. it's just that you don't see it sometimes.

The weekends have been good, as compared with the others. More work was done but distraction remained annoyingly prevalent. UGH! *attempts to strangle distraction*
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Bed by 11.30. Up by 4.30am 5.30am. This will be how I spent my nights from now on.
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I cannot wait to see Lizzie on Wednesday and Lizzie AND Crys on Friday. Crys will be leaving for NZ to read law on February 8th. ):
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Lately, I have been especially optimistic. No idea why, but I think it's a good thing. No?

i'm gonna be a morning bird!

I will be a morning person from now onwards. Bye moon.

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My blog entries are becoming tweets. I never know what to journal nowadays.

Oh right. The lastest episode of 'The Vampire Diaries' is lovely! I love it that it ain't sappy, like 'Twilight', and there's no sex and nudity, like 'True Blood'.

I do love 'True Blood' tons. But after watching 'Daybreakers', I have been wondering if I'm exposing myself to too much gore and dark stuff. I used to hate those stuff, especially the former (and not so much the latter.). So I have decided to not follow 'True Blood' anymore. BUT I will still follow the news, episode guides yada yada yada so that I'm informed about the storyline, at the very least (and who's going out with who off-screen. I'm a sucker for such stuff. I don't indulge in school gossip but celeb's one is a whole different story.)

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Right now, I have got 3 emails to send out and after that, I will bid the moon 'Bonne nuit!'.

And oh! Cell was good! To think that I wanted to bail out. God never fails.

when the lights are out and my fairies are gone, i know i have you.

Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.

-Janis Joplin

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Words have been failing me lately. Reckon it's because I haven't been on top of my game. I'm about halfway there, I suppose. The weekends will be greatly desired. Wish there was a swell little cafe just around the corner of my house. A quiet one. With trees, food, water and a clean and pretty toilet.

Back to accounting. (It's really quite interesting. Wished I had more time for it though. Maintenant, I'm just force-feeding myself with it. Would love having the time to actually think it over carefully. Oh well. 4 years later, maybe?)

high tide.

Today's the day when I pick my little scattered bits and get my act together.

Wish me luck.

annoying little bitch.

Ugh. I have been wasting every single day since school started. *rolls eyes*

tonight the muffins are dancing.

oh. shoot me.

Okay. Charlene spells 'dead meat' now. I have yet to go through my 2 chapters of accounting and French 1 notes. I have barely started on last week's Times copy and my newspaper is neatly tucked in my folder, with only 2 articles read. So much for wanting to work hard.
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I have church later, so that cancels out my afternoon. I HAVE to go for this one, even though the 2009 and before Charlene would have just come up with some lame excuse and opt out. I know I only said one Christian event, thing.... Whatever you call it... A week only. But last night can hardly count as one (And why the hell am I so anal about this?!? DUDE. Something's seriously wrong here. But it's a good wrong, no? Haha. I will shelf this for later mulling. *rolls eyes*)! For me, it was just a get-to-know-who-are-in-my-cell session (and know more Highlife-rs as well). And I know to get the habit of attending Church regularly going, I have to work at it like how I work at my once-a-week jogging habit. Gawd. I really want to roll my eyes a thousand times till they drop out.
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My next weekend's packed already. I have cell, Aretha's date, Church and Hui Ping's date. Will I survive? I'm such a sedentary person.

a flash in the pan?

Met up with Dorcas at Raffles City to get stuff from Paper Market for D. Since Valentine's Day is coming (Okay, only in commercial terms.), the shop has all these pretty paper, stickers, embellishments and the ilk for the holiday! But they are also expensive, as usual. I'd rather do everything from scratch but I can't draw to save my life and that pretty much seals my fate in craft-making. :/

OH! I visited Derrick at Starhub!!! HAHA. I cannot wait for him to join me in hell at college!!! He had dyed hair and looked completely like an ah beng.
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Was craving to sit in a cinema when I got back, so off to the theatre I went. Caught 'Daybreakers' (Too bad Josh's at camp. Otherwise, I would have more fun. I think. Haha. Jules is currently feeling hideous, so much so that she refuses to step out of the house. You're just scaling... It's a perfectly normal biological process... For snakes, that is. HAHA.)
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This semester is actually looking pretty good. I don't have to deal with the peak-hour crowd, except on Mondays. My timetable has been settled, I have a group for my Accounting module and got my text PLUS notes for only 15 bucks (WHEE!!! Moolah saved!), Sasha's in my French class (: , lunch with Dorcas on alternate Mondays, Wedevenings with Lizzie, my China friends are really nice (Just the other day, Yichi printed a copy of the homework for me when she realized that I didn't have it. Mia got me a pretty notebook from China. And I had such a good time chatting with them. (: )... Please let it be good!

Yet, there are times when things so promising at the beginning fails at the end. Mmhmmm...
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Anyway, stuff are happening and I'm pretty excited about them. I hope one particular thing comes true. OH, PLEASE LET IT COME TRUE!!! *prays hard*
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Okay, off for a jog now. Au revoir! (:

P.S.: Gonna see Lisa tomorrow after 1433544329503543405 years. (:
P.P.S.: (Note to self) Blog about the sweetest gift that I have ever received. It's hanging on my iPod so it goes with me everywhere, Charmian. (:

and the stars and the moon and the sun... all in the same sky...

I covet so much. But it pushes where I need to be pushed. So it's a good thing. Let the future worry about itself. I have enough on my hands right now. Like... ACCOUNTING JARGON. Gawd. It's hell. But Psychology or whatever will present an even worse hell, if hell were measurable. So be contented that your timetable is nowhere close to last semester's one, Charlene!

To think that I was considering to take another elective... *smacks head* You like things sped up, but there's no need to rush darling.
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Had a really good chat with Lizzie today. I miss her so so very much! I hope Wedevenings (say it real fast!) with Lizzie/ Char ('Lizzie' for me, 'Char' for Lizzie) will be a permanent fixture in my and Lizzie's timetables. PLEASE LET IT BE!!!
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Gonna have a really long break tomorrow. BLAH. I hope I have enough food to last me. HAHA.

I thought about a gazillion things to blog about but now, I can't remember any of it. *shrugs*

the stars are crazy silent tonight.

The past 4 train rides home were spent nodding my head off, plugged into my iPod which would be playing news. I'm half-wishing that I had asked Dad to get me an iTouch instead of a Nano. Then, I will always be connected with the world!!! Think about it, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube... 24/7! And I can totally forget about getting any studying done too. Also, it will be such a hassle when I run, to be carrying that bulky and fragile piece of technology. *rolls eyes* (Oxymoron, no?!?)

Why can't I have the best of both worlds?!? (Because life ain't fair, you silly goose. Haven't you learnt anything in the 20+++ years that you have had and are still having on earth?!?)
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I think I might join a club in school or something. Just to fill up some time. But gawd, I hate, HATE, being in the west. It's so far away from home. ):
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Dear NTU, hear my cry. Please shift to the East. There's a plot of empty land opposite my house. And you can rent the Expo halls to hold those crazy massive lectures. See? Advantages, aplenty! (And it's near the airport. Crazy good for the gazillion foreigners!)
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P.S.: Lizzie, I have no idea what to blog about.
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[EDIT] I hope the club actually check its email. Oh well, time for Calculus!

listen, kitty.

DAY ONE: FAIL.

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I tried to complete my first assignment of the year but I'm still left with 2 questions undone, out of 6. Pfft. I got distracted big time by the net. Sigh. Tomorrow, no today, will be a better day.

Homework first, before play.
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Darlia and Dan are going back to Aussie tonight. Wish I were jetting off too. ):

i want the sun and moon and stars... i want them all.

Umm my resolution to save money isn't looking too good. Crrrappp.
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There's only ONE lecture tomorrow! Yay! (: Hitting the sack at 12. RC's calling out to me. Heee. (: I wanna check out the art&craft shop at the basement level and start reading some accounting stuff. It looks wayyy hard. ): And I need notebooks. UGH. Money, money, money!!!

Okay, night sweets! (:
And happy back-to-school day in advance, people!

(Lizzie: Happy one-week-down day in advance! You're one week closer to the end of school!!! Lucky you! (: )

don't let the thread snap, please.

Just yesterday, I was thinking about my first crush. The crush lasted for 6 years and it's my longest ever. I have no idea why, out of the blue moon, he popped into my head, but he did. And I was like telling my siblings that I should go look for him on fb, which I did. That was surprising because usually I can't remember the things which I tell myself that I have to do online when I'm offline. And I only remembered about him just before I switched off my laptop. So I added him anyway and was very thrilled when he added me back.

Only to find out that he has been diagnosed with cancer of the lymph nodes.
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I haven't spoken to him for ages and I didn't really speak much to him when he was in SG. But I feel like... I don't know. I need to make a trip to RC. Think I'm gonna make a scrapbook and then ship it to HK or something.

Gawd. I was feeling surreal when I first read his note to his friends and now, I'm sad. Really, really sad.

(If there's anything to feel comforted about, it's the fact that he's rich, really rich. Thank God.)

Pages have gone all yellow, but the ink's still there alright.

I just spent the last hour reading my entries dating all the way back to February last year. I like this entry particularly and it's good that I chanced upon it again at the beginning of Semester 2. I musn't, for pete's sake, ever lose my focus again.
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you are a laceration,

a rip in my skin.

you're still raw, you're still bleeding.

and you have been here since 2006.

(Sunday, September 20, 2009)

Agenda for the night and boring ol' school stuff.

Run (in the gym since it's pouring. SIGH. I hate running in the gym.).
Pack for school (notebooks, labelling of files etc.).
Try clear some of my stuff (give them away, throw away... Whichever.).
Mark out dates in my schedule (decide which day I'm gonna do what; telly day, revision day, keep-my-ass-perky day etc.).
Read 'The Under Cover Economist' (I can't keep up with the book. All the American terms; meadows, grasslands, scrubs etc.).
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I'm currently registered for 6 modules:

Mastering Communication
Calculus II
Linear Algebra I
Basic Discrete Mathematics & Number Theory
French Language Level 2
Accounting

Yes, I got not 1, but 2 electives!!! How cool is that?!? And just this morn, I was panicking. Results were supposed to be out today and I had taken today as when the clock struck 12, so when I checked, I was still on the waiting list for all 5 electives which I had picked! I was like "Awww crap! Now I have to do some serious camping." and started making mental preparations to bring my 1.9kg (if I remember correctly. ) laptop to school. But Chua was like "Wait for the email!". I did and tadah!!! 2 electives! Yay! Thanks God! (: (Nay to me for thinking that prayers fail... I know. What crappy thinking... God NEVER fails. He's perfection, in every sense of the word. And no one else can be that, perfect.).

BUT I didn't really want to do Accounting. I wanted to leave it for Special Semester and deal it with Chua. But ah well. And I wanted to add German Language Level 1 (There are still vacancies for this. How peculiar is that?!?) but that would probably be suicidal. There's Defence Science to think about too. But that would eat my Wednesday afternoons, which have been declared as Lizzie Days. And Wednesdays are really the only days when I can stretch my legs a little and really do some serious studying. (Oh gosh! I hope my Charfil days still stand. I can't remember what time Fil ends again! Fil?!?)

Anyway, I have some index numbers which I really want to switch so laptop's definitely going to school with me next Monday. My poor back... And speaking of which (next Monday marks the start of the Add/ Drop period), I have been promoted to Year 2! How cool is that (again)?!? Hehe.
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Thanks God! You're the best! <333

cottoning on solitary.

Hello world. My right eye's swollen at the corner. Must have been the mishandling of contacts, carelessly removed eye make-up, olive oil (as a remover. It cleans off perfectly! But then, the oil stays and you have to wash it real good so there's no residue. I have been lazy lately.) and Vaseline (as a replacement for eye cream, which worked perfectly fine in China and before China). UGHHH. My body feels real tired lately. Must have been the late nights cramming of 'Big Bang Theory' (I'm onto Season 3!!!). SIGHHH.
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Anyway, here's what has been happening with me the entire week in brief...

MONDAY Flu bug meant that I was held captive the entire day at home. Watched 'Big Bang Theory', 'The Proposal' and a whole lot of Youtube videos.
TUESDAY Mall with Dorcas K. Got myself 3 tops from Forever 21 (I got a cool silver purse for a freebie!) and 2 elkie and 1 long cardigans from Cotton On (I foresee myself patronizing this store very often in the very near future. Haha!) I was supposed to meet up with all my China 姐姐s for dinner but it was too late for me. ))):
WEDNESDAY Lunch, movie and mall date with my Aussie cousins, Daniel and Darlia. Caught 'Sherlock Holmes' again. Haha. It's not my 'typical', with 'typical' defined here as boy-meets girl kind of love stories, kind of shows but I do love action. Which is kind of weird because I really hate gore, fighting and killing. Oookay... Contradictory! Anyway, going back to where I was before this 'bimbo' moment...
THURSDAY Paid the doc a visit, bought Darlia a birthday present, got myself 3 pairs of earrings from Accessorize (I was aiming for their sale items but the bags were only 20% off and the earrings which were priced 1/2 of their usual were just okay. I mean, it's probably because I have seen them so often but oh well. None of them were screaming for me to buy them before (and now).), read Times, caught 'Cirque du Freaks: The Vampire's Assistant' which was interesting. Again, not my 'typical' kind of show but the ending promises a good sequel, with 'good' being equal to 'loads of action'.
FRIDAY Pack my stupid room!!! I just packed it a few days ago, but it's all messy again. VERY.
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So yep. School starts next week. And I'm both dreading and anticipating it. Dreading takes up a larger percentage though. Thank God for Charfil Days (on Tuesdays) and Lizzie Days (on Wednesdays)!

i don't plan on coming up with a handful of mud.

From today onwards, I will

drown myself in American dramas.
study very, very hard.
play very, very hard.
sleep early on school days.
not buy any more make-up (SERIOUSLY, the size of my stash is disgusting, considering how often, or rather, how little make-up I actually use.).
complete the 1100 words book (which I have been trying to complete since I was 15.).
drown myself in Times, Economics, French and Japanese during my free time.
run at least once a week (which I did for my first sem. Immensely proud of myself, I must say. Ahem.).
study at my table (no more lying on beds and then dozing off like a lazy ass. Nuh-uh.).
be sensible, be very, very sensible.
be focused, be very, very focused.
attend Church faithfully.
keep studies my MAIN priority (distractions, be gone! SHOO!).
keep my room inhumanely tidy.
file all my stupid worksheets and make notes in printed-like handwriting *rolls eyes*.
save money.
umm... Study?
ummm... Be hellishly focused?

Oh right, I mentioned the last 2 already. Haha. But yes, as I have aforementioned, I'm looking forward to whatever drama 2010 will bring me. And I shan't be an insecured, sad, self-pitying/ wallowing bum. Instead, I shall embrace it because everything happens for a reason. And God made it happen. So it can't possibly be a bad thing.

Even if it seems so in the short-run.
*shrugs and grins*
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Haha. Just bring it on man! I feel good and what a smashing way to start the new year! (:
And oh, oh. Eli and I are gonna meet up every Wednesday to study. WHEE!!! School sounds exciting already! (Even though, technically, Eli doesn't attend my college and we definitely won't be studying at my college. Haha.)
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P.S.: I got my first MAC product. It's the Hello Kitty Lip Tint Conditioner in Popstar and I'm loving it sooo much. HOLY GRAIL, completely!!! (: