How is it that school makes life so interesting?

Ziting, it's meant to be cryptic. Haha.
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Bored shitless. Bored, bored, bored. When there's no work, I'm like some lard-tard. And when there IS work, I'm just one sian-ed shit.
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I miss school. I miss my girlfriends. I miss their eyecandies. I miss teachers. I miss recess times. I miss the study benches. I miss the bookshop. I miss 07S202 table. I miss the MRT rides home. I miss gossiping over nothing. I miss skipping PE. I miss watching people run. I miss the House events. I miss being late for school. I miss coming up with lame excuses as to why I was late. I miss skipping Economics lectures. I miss the hot and stuffy study room. I miss Louis' awkward silence. I miss Melvin's random, brainless remarks. I miss telling Danial I'm tired. I miss LJ's stories... I even miss the crazy security guard who bothers to catch people with no school badges on (i.e. ME.)...

Blah blah blah.
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Dear God,

Tonight, I pray that my life will take an interesting turn.
You know what I mean.
Sigh.

Amen.
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I'm desperate.
(But yeah, yeah. The more you want something, the least likely that you will get it. *GROANS*)

The ignoramus that I am.

The Pissed Off Bastards of Bloomington.

Interesting name for a club.
(Members were called Pissed Off Bastards, in case you were wondering.)
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I never knew that Hells Angels MC really existed until I flipped through today's papers.

Tonight, the stars are falling.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm courting an early entrance into my coffin by working myself to death. It sucks to have studied Economics because all that I do now is to consider the opportunity costs of everything that I do or do not do. If I don't drag myself to school, I lose the chance to earn a wonderful salary of __ bucks a day. And if I do, I basically shorten my lifespan by about 5 years and have my poor feet abused to hell by climbing stairs up and down on friggin' heels. I want to contribute more shifts for SB but that means I will have to reject any calls that come my way and lose about 25-35 bucks. (Note: My loyalty still remains with SB. Forever and ever. It's THE world's most fabulous job. Thank you.)

I don't even know why I'm so bloody calculative (about money). It's not that I'm broke senseless. And I'm definitely not like Nat, who wants to buy everything that can be bought. My parents have assured me that they are fully capable of seeing the 3 of us through university... So why the hell am I working so hard?!? This is worse than pre-A-Levels days.

Charlene, you're 20. You have no desire for branded goods or expensive food. You feed on bread, which cost like 7 bucks the most. You breathe in water, which is a public good (FREE). You're too friggin' lazy to go to town to shop. Also, when you spend on yourself, you feel so guilt-ridden that you swear off shopping for an entire month (No, not really. Haha. Two weeks, at least.). You're a huge fan of Youtube, so you don't need the movies. You have everything that you need. You're happy with the stuff you have. Dad is still giving you allowance! You have enough to pay for your own transport costs and medical fees, which you don't even have to bother to begin with... Basically, there isn't any need for any extra moolah at all!!!

Maybe I'm just crazy. Or I love money too much. Or perhaps it's because I hate, hate, hate asking my parents for (extra) money. It creates reliance, makes one vulnerable and it screams 'unfilial' to me. (And thank goodness that I have not done so for a year and 3 months.)

Whatever it is... If the primary school calls, I go. If the secondary school calls, I sleep. And when the end of April comes, I think I will just quit.
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Everyday, my command of English deteoriates. I keep hearing phrases like 'more hot', 'more sexy', 'they is' blah blah blah. Though I have sworn off profanities, save for the occasional f***s, my vocabulary in this particular area has expanded quite scarily. I know certain parts of the body in Hokkien, Chinese and Malay. Taking others' scripts (and reproducing every single word) is for the purpose of reference and nothing else. Choosing the option 3 will guarantee you at least ONE correct answer for Chinese worksheets. Playing with a half deck of cards is not equal to playing cards at all. Allowing the usage of mobiles means that you're the best/ coolest. Violence creates laughter. Brokeback mountain is the norm. Scotch-taping people and having their boyfriends/ girlfriends release them is a testimony to their love. Arm-wrestling is the 'in' thing. Cheating during arm-wrestling is the 'inner' thing. Laughing in high-pitch voices after the game ends is the 'innest' thing. Barbie dolls have switched their target audience to boys. Spidermans dangle on projector screens, carrying hot pink handbags. Balls, which have insects in them or smiley faces printed on them, are the funnest things on Earth. Mindmaps are a waste of time because teachers don't bother to check. Liverpool and Torres suck because I like them. Man U rocks sooo much because I don't like it. Broomsticks are for fencing. Unbuttoning the shirt and showing off your chest is a way to bring sexy back. Having everyone shout 'KEEP QUIET' is the surest way to get everyone's attention and it turns up the volume by only about a thousand notches. Taking the same bus as me means that I'm stalking you or vice versa. The list goes on...

And I love them very much.

Unfortunately, the fact that I have to rack my brains over what to wear and the need to wear heels kill everything.
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To top it all off, I'm still hacking away like a friggin' octogenarian. And I just lost my train of thoughts. I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm blogging at all. Brain's all fried after work and mad-ass Aerobics (I LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT though. *wide grin*)

Pardon a very shagged me. Sigh.
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And poor Filza. Adam's gay. All the cute/ hot/ nice guys are gay. Those who aren't, are camwhores. Which is really strange, if you think about it. Like in future, you'll be telling your kids "Boy/ girl, your papa used to take pictures of himself ALL the time.". There's no macho-ness in it at all. Double sigh.

Still trying to cut the Gordian knot.

The labyrinthine complexity of life always unwinds itself after talking to Nat. I don't feel so out-of-place anymore. If only there's a word that is capable of expressing the magnitude of the love that I have for you... AWW DARLING. Haha. Love love love you to the max 'cause you kick the most asses (be they fat, tight, wrinkly, full of cellulite, dimply etcetera.) :)))

Here's the sloppiest kiss ever for you. MUACKS!!!
Haha.
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Who says my blog is cryptic?

The proverbial L word.

"When you grow to like someone, you would naturally start to see that person in a most perfect and beautiful light."
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It's called 'hormones-induced blindness'.

she stood there, crestfallen. yellow balloon in her hand.

It was a good thing that at 1.18am this morn, I was still conscious enough to look at my mobile before answering the call.
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In my Year 2 of college, in a bid to study more by caring less for my own welfare (i.e. sleeping a whole lot less. Think: I got by with 1-3 hours of sleep on most days.), I got a friend to wake me up by calling me. (Alarm clock doesn't work unless there are 3 or more, strategically hidden in all sorts of places which require me to move my lazy ass to find it and shut it up.)

He ended up getting lambasted with a whole slew of profanities by a very, very sleepy me.
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Oh yes. Khairun kept Dorcas (SM), Aini and me laughing the better half of the night with his dumb imitations of a very sexy, macho man.

And when the guy in question did come, it was hard not to let your imagination run wild. Not in an alluring way, no.

It was more of... disturbing.
Haha.
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so much for missing somebody.

The Grandfather.

"We cannot tear out a single page of our life, but we can throw the whole book in the fire."
- George Sand

Things don't always go your way. Haven't you learnt?

Last night's dream was reminiscent of what used to be. They were the right words, but by the wrong person. Or rather, the other way round.
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From tomorrow onwards, early nights, more water and less computer. Just so that I can keep my body sane enough to match up with my quite-hectic schedule. And I don't want to miss any more gym sessions!!!
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Oh yeah. I lost 3kg from working, missing 2 lunches (not on purpose) and being sick.

t-e-r-r-i-b-l-e.

i.
feel.
so.
sick.
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how am i gonna holler "PEOPLE, KEEP YOUR VOLUME DOWN PLEASE!!!" tomorrow?!?

Her skin has shed.

WHY, O' WHY, IS IT THAT EACH TIME THERE'S A COFFEE PRESENTATION, I FALL CRAZY SICK; TONSILS THAT SWELL TO THRICE THEIR ORIGINAL SIZE, NOSE WHICH REFUSES TO BREATHE AND BODY STIFF LIKE A CENTURY-OLD CORPSE?!?
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I was the epitome of a country bumpkin today. This fact just sunk into my head, even though I was half-conscious enough to sms Fil that her friend, me, dressed like a nut to school today. Sigh. Uniforms! I never hated them, know? They save you money, tons of headache and discrimmination (Everyone's equal.).

Sigh. I'm cringing with disgust and humiliation. Oh well. I shall just classify it as 'one of those (feeling fugly) days'.
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Meanwhile, I won't be surprised if the school decides to sack me.

You should have heard me today...
Completely unprofessional and being Charlene in her truest, most naked form.
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I wish I could be a dermatologist, without having to study Medicine. I take such a course with no hesitations/ doubts/ confusions blah blah blah mannn. Damn.
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It's definitely one of those (kuku) days. *groans in exasperation*

okay, so i already know.

he's weird. then again, i say really random stuff. but how else am i supposed to keep the conversation going man? it's too weird to let it die out like that.

he's MAJORLY reticent.
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I have never been so furious in my relief teaching stint before.
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And I really, really, really have no wish to pass up on a chance like that. I don't want to keep giving up things because I think I CMI or of irrational reasons.
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Fiq is right.
Fiq is right.
Fiq IS right.

It's not too hard to convince myself of that obvious fact, is it?

and they were all left with the wrong shoes, again and again.

Taufiq is right.
Nothing will come out of it.
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Stop dreaming.
Start working.
And to hell with all thoughts that revolve around l___.

Got balled? HAHA.

Omg. Yours truly is crying whilst watching High School Musical 3 (Senior Year). Haha. It's sooo romantic!!!
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I'm gonna buy a ball and practise juggling like mad. So I can show off to Louis. Haha. Apparently, juggling isn't just a physical activity. Sir Louis said that you have to think about how others can keep the ball up in the air so long. It's about the instinct and the feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel.

Wise words, I must say.

Confessions of a Workaholic.

If Elaine calls, life's gonna start its hectic cycle once again. And if that email comes, whoaaa. Haha. I will be completely knocked out every single day.

And and and guess what?!?
I'm hoping it comes!!!
(There's nothing to do in Singapore anyway.)
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you are missed.

4 Easter bunnies died.

It sucks that every time Fil, Fel, LJ, SP, Naqib and Danial meet up, I have work. :((( I miss you guys so much.
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Throbbing head for an entire day. It was hard to concentrate at work. Stupid lousy bozo head.
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I can't wait for school to start. 'Cause Chua, Dor and I have a super high possibility of ending up in the same language class! Yay!!! :DDD

Dance the last waltz with me?

right here, right now
i’m looking at you and my heart loves the view
'cause you mean everything

If only her life were straight out from a fairytale...

I wanted very much to blog about today's happenings but a phone call with Hao Yi and a MSN conversation with Clara T. have set me thinking.

A lot. More than I want to.
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Gawd. I'm so confused right now. :(((

And the black rabbit is white.

Submitting only ONE university application for only ONE course is friggin' scary.
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I tried watching High School Musical 3. Perhaps it was due to multiple tabs being opened up on Firefox, but I seriously do not comprehend the show.

Shit. Is my English dying? Speaking of which, a customer said I sounded Japanese. That sent me into paranoia. I was telling Dorcas (SM) that if that were really the case, I would sign up for some English course. (Which I am already VERY tempted too. Grades can be anything, but my Chinese CANNOT, SHOULD NOT be better than my English. And to have Melvin and Mabell tell me that we have the same standard of English... *grits teeth in mock anger* No offense to anyone. I just ughhh... Cannot stand the fact that my stupid Chinese is a grade higher than my English. Okay. Feck it. I can rant like there's no tomorrow. It's over, Charlene. O-V-E-R.) Another customer remarked that I looked Taiwanese. And yet another mentioned that I spoke very good English and proceeded to check my marital status and age. According to Dorcas (SM), his eyes travelled up and down.

Gross. I didn't even realize. Ugh. And dude, are you like blind?
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And I got sabotaged BIG time by Dorcas (SM) la. Ah ah ah... And she just laughed and laughed know, while Ashraf did a POOR imitation of Captain Planet. (Just in case Ashraf ever visits my blog again, CAPTAIN PLANET BEATS ASHIE BOY ANYDAY. :))) )
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Camp tomorrow and yours truly is down with flu. Again.

Cover up your face, why don't you?

I keep telling myself that I'm gonna keep my fringe long for once. But when I'm in front of the mirror, I go "It's really long...". And just minutes ago, I went snip snip snip.

It's all short now.
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I want to dye.
But roots that show are so unsightly.
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Nothing beats hearing him say that he's proud of me.

Decisions, decisions, decisions... BLAH!

I am finally done with my scholarship application. I was supposed to complete it sooner but life took a rather hectic turn last Wednesday. Not that I was complaining. I loved every single second of it. :))) I miss the kids already. A lot. I pray pray pray that Elaine will call me back when the new term starts again! Hopefully, Zhi Yong will be there too, so I don't feel so alone. :(
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J/K Hip Hop was smashing today. But you know, my body's so rigid that ballet seems to be the only genre that fits me to a T. I kinda miss ballet though. The 'rules' and all... Haha. But nevertheless, I'm still gonna give hip hop a go. And no way am I gonna stop. :)))
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I am quite set on the course which I want. But still, the thought of giving up a chance to study dentistry kinda... Disturbs me. Since leaving secondary school, I have made every single decision (where my life is concerned). And just look at the amount of shit that I got myself into.

I wonder if listening to Mum and Dad just this once will lead me back to the proverbial right path...

And I'm afraid that my decision to take that particular course was swayed a lot by a certain someone. Sigh. I don't want it to be another one of those 'I'm so friggin' gonna regret it soon but you know what, I'm not gonna give a damn right now' moments. I'm so sick of regretting my decisions. Over and over. Then again, he may not have any part to play. I mean, I really do like that course. OH GAHHH.
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Tired.
Really tired.
Always am tired.

Dude, I'm aging way too fast.

Bleagh.

I find it funny when people use profanities. In day-to-day conversation, of course. Not those I'm-so-effing-angry-I'm-gonna-chew-your-ass-up kind. Especially Dorcas (SM). Haha. The way she swears can send me into laughing fits.
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Bummer to recent happenings.

Telepathy, you and me?

Taufiq says: eh
Taufiq says: i know what you can name your first son
charlene judith. says: lol
charlene judith. says: what
Taufiq says: carl's junior
charlene judith. says: why carl?!?
Taufiq says: its the name of a food place la
charlene judith. says: i knowwwww
charlene judith. says: why not burger king
Taufiq says: charlene judith
Taufiq says: c j
charlene judith. says: lol
charlene judith. says: you're weird, you know that?
Taufiq says: no i didnt know that
Taufiq says: haha
Taufiq says: your daughter can be named carrie
Taufiq says: carrie jermaine
charlene judith. says: is tt a character from a book?
Taufiq says: no
Taufiq says: haha
Taufiq says: carrie is a song
Taufiq says: jermaine is a pretty captain at the civil defence academy
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'Carrie' is the title of Stephen King's novel. I will never ever name my child that, or after any of Stephen King's characters.

And just when I was considering adopting a kid.

Gives me hell.

And truth be told I miss you
And truth be told I'm lying
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I wish I knew the right words to say. Sigh. I suck so much at being a friend. :'(((
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Now there are so many decisions to be made. UK universities? Scholarships? Math? Dentistry? Accountancy?

And I feel bad for being excited about it.
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Taufiq says: you may say im a dreamer, but im not the only one
Taufiq says: i hope someday you'll join me, and the world will be as one

Judgemental love, anyone???

Tonight, I realized how dead particular I am about crushes. Like if I were talking about them, I would speak louder than usual and say stuff which, on second thought, doesn't seem quite right. So Munirah if you happen to read this, sighhh... I guess I still am crushing on him a little. It's like when I don't work with him, I'll be like "Okay, dude. This is it. I'm not crushing on him anymore. It's stupid, useless and a complete waste of time. I mean, LOOK! He doesn't even care two hoots!". And then just one shift with him, I'm like "Okay. I take back whatever that I said.". BIG SIGH. I owe you a story like big time. Haha.

How hopeless can I be?!? *groans*
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Maybe the crushing thing is based on sheer loyalty. Like my first ever crush lasted for 6 years. And it stopped only because I didn't attend that church anymore and so, all (little) contact with him was ceased.

Funny that I keep crushing on people whom I don't really know though. Haha. But I guess I like things this way. 'Cause nothing will ever happen and tears won't come. They always do.

I'm so sick of tears.
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And why the hell am I blogging about this when my academic judgement is a mere 12 hours away???

TRIPLE BIG SIGHS.
*refuses to think about it*

My Plan.

It's a definite goodbye.
To school. To misery. To A.
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1. Wake up.
2. Take breakfast.
3. Walk around the house to calm nerves.
4. Drink lots of green tea.
5. Go gym.
6. Bathe.
7. Take medicine for stomach.
8. Go school.
9. Switch off mobile.
10. Meet up with JH and Fel for the last lunch in MJC.
11. Go to the hall.

- after 103942430958 hours -

12. Get results.
13. Dash to JH and drag him out of school to somewhere quiet.
14. Look at results.
15. Scream and die.
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It's gonna be a closure to the 3 wild and crazy years of my college life.

So much for the darker sex.

Last night was the best sleep I had since I received news about my impending doom. I feel quite under the weather though. During all the sleepless nights, I chewed over one particular issue. It's settled once and for all and it's like a heavy weight off my shoulders. I don't even know why I let myself get caught up in it just because of some pathetic remarks. *rolls eyes*
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And I believe that it's my prerogative to accept or reject friend requests on Facebook.

Fast cars and freedom.

I'm really really really super apologetic to the last Friday's graveyard shift people; Faizal, Ashraf, Matno and Michael!!! I'm really super super duper sorry that you guys had to do closing for me. =(((

I shall bring tons of green tea packets for my first graveyard shift and practically inhale them.
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I slept a mere 2 hours last night. And it's just gonna be a hell lot worse. Worrying is like caffeine. If only we could cap worries into little bottles and sell them. I'll be the first to hit a gazillion bucks. Sigh sigh sigh. Counting down seriously sucks to the very core.

I can swear like there's no tomorrow from now till Friday.

But I shall not.
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Taufiq says: would you love to ride?
charlene says: the van?
Taufiq says: no
Taufiq says: ride a cruiser motorcycle up and down highways
charlene says: hell yes
Taufiq says: same here
Taufiq says: at the peak of my life i will have a nice honda car
Taufiq says: a bmw motorcycle
Taufiq says: and a chinese girl holding on to me as we ride through the country
Taufiq says: hahaha
charlene says: ...
charlene says: i thought you were gonna offer me a ride

Sigh. I thought I finally had a friend who got a bike license. How disappointing. Still, that's Fiq for you; rubbish, nonsense and all.

And I miss this shortie (cue: evil laughter.) to pieces.
*HUGS*
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i'm like half wishing he was born a girl (eh. *tries to picture him with long hair* AHAHA. he'll look so funny.) instead so that he doesn't have to go army anytime soon. it's still a few months away but time sickeningly flies by.

sigh sigh sigh. =(((
the loose nut that i am.
he doesn't even care la. *rolls eyes*

stupid.
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EDIT// 1.5 hours later

Taufiq said: you said you gtg
charlene says: i forgot to switch off my comp!
Taufiq says: jeng jeng
charlene says: gawd
Taufiq says: 1.5 hours?
charlene says: the batt was dying!
charlene says: was i gone for tt long?
charlene says: i went to gran's place for dinner
Taufiq says: thats 4 football fields of padi burnt just like that
charlene says: what?!?
Taufiq says: thats 2000000 children in euthopia that can be fed
Taufiq says: for 3 meals
Taufiq says: yeah charlene
Taufiq says: 6 zeroes
charlene says: okay taufiq shut up
charlene says: haha
Taufiq says: 3 meals
charlene says: shut up man
charlene says: it wasn't on purpose!!!
Taufiq says: ok
Taufiq says: at least people in africa arent dying on purpose too
charlene says: ..............
Taufiq says: *shrugs*