it's quite frightening, really.

I don't want to forget the look that he had on his face as he regarded me. Yet, to do otherwise, will bring some sort of hmmm... Should I say 'pain'? (I really ought to go brush up on my vocabulary.) No, wait. The word's 'regret'. But would such a feeling be justified in such a situation? I mean, I have no reason to feel any... Thing. He didn't scare me, no. But he did shake me a little. Wish I knew what he was talking to the air steward and stewardess so fiercely about. Wish I hadn't let him catch me trying to make sense of the situation. Wish he didn't look at me that way and make a 180 degrees turn and be a complete gentleman to me as I was about to leave the plane. (Awww, dang. My English really sucks. Big time.)

I know I will forget his expression soon enough and when I read this entry ten years down the road, I will be feeling extremely puzzled and a tad frustrated, as I do with some of the other enigmatic entries of mine. But I will brush it off soon enough.
-

I gave my future quite a bit of though in China. Everyone else around me was 23, 24 or 25. It was hard not to. Relationships was a hot-potato topic. It scares me a little... That very soon, I will be their age. Will I be fretting over this issue then? I haven't got anyone now. And I don't really see much possibility of having any one in the near future, going by the way I treat certain things. 20 feels old enough already. I can't imagine what 21, 22... What more 25 will feel like to me.

I just hope to God, very badly and desperately, that I will be the person that I want to be (I know, 'I' should really be replaced by 'God'.) and that I am where I want to be (Again, the same thing.).
-

Anyway, I have bummed around long enough now. It's time to get down to business. After I'm completed with 'Definitely Dead'. Haha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009, PEOPLE!!! <333