life doesn't have to be this way, charlene.

The night's frigid again. It's so annoying. I hate the cold AND the wet. And come the 9th, I will be jetting to a place that has a temperature of 14?!? I'm not looking forward to it. It's my first time away from my family and it makes me jittery. I ought to be all excited, really. I think I would be... If the place that I was head to was NYC instead. Haha.
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There are many times when I wonder what the *beep* happened to me during those 2 years. Wish I could rip off that part of me. If only... if only...
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I miss tons of things. I regret tons of things. I wish I did this... I wish I did that... But self-wallowing isn't gonna do me any good. And if I keep thinking that life's also gonna start when I go off to NYC (if I ever trust in my stupid self and be diligent enough to fight all the way for it), I'm gonna waste my life now. I don't want to waste it. Yet I have no idea what I want to do with it. And if I keep having the mentality that I can't do this and that...

Gawd. What's happening?
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I don't want to sink into a stupid abyss. Yet somehow... Somehow...
Ah feck it.

Back to the books. (Or rather papers.)