it's because i made it so.

the first and the last.

he left a bittersweet taste in your mouth,

which won't go away.

no one will love the way he did.

and it's making you cry.

'cause you miss everything about him,

despite it all.

-

May has come to an end. It's high time to do something about life, instead of letting the seconds tick quickly by.

Say you love her already.

On my way to dance, I met JR. And... He just came over and talked to me as if I were his old friend! It was kinda surprising because I bumped into him several times on my way home from school last year but neither of us made any attempt to acknowledge each other's presence. He was really easy to talk to, contrary to what some would say. And gosh, I do have to say that he's still a dead ringer for Dharma. Seriously.
-

I excused myself to the ladies while he went to check out the dance studio and some aircraft model shop. At that moment, it was kinda weird 'cause I presumed that he would leave after checking them out and we didn't say bye. So it was like the proverbial awkward moment. But when I came out of the loo, there he was waiting. Just so that he could say bye. I was like WOW. Guys like that are seriously extinct man. (Note: I'm not crushing on him or anything. 'Cause right now, the only man in my life is Oguri Shun. Thank you very much.)
-

I think that all guys should watch Taiwanese/ Japanese/ Korean dramas. HAHA. I know, I know. Men in those dramas are a big bluff. POOH!!!
-

Schedule tomorrow:

9am - Making of airport pass with Shirin and Munirah.
3pm - Meeting Liting for her Church service.

Hopefully, I will be able to get my schedule book from Artbox in-between. (Yeah, like where on earth is my moolah gonna come from?!? I will find a way. HAHAHA.)

Hello, you.

Oh. My. Friggin'. Gawd. The weather can and will K-I-L-L. Singapore is like sitting on a malfunctioning stove. One that has gone way past its maximum temperature and just keeps rising and rising and friggin' rising. Days like this, I wish I was cooped up in Terminal 1, freezing my ass off. It doesn't help that I have sensitive EVERYTHING. The slightest bit of dust can send me into a violent sneezing fit. Oh grrr.
-

Morning was spent finishing up the LAST bit of 'Boys Before Flowers'. I hate finishing dramas 'cause then they end. Okay, like duh. It's just the after-feeling of it. Haha. Okay, I hate the after-feelings of many things; potato chips, dark chocolates, books, movies yada yada yada. *rolls eyes* I'm done with 'Gossip Girl Season 2' as well, though I did skip a couple of episodes. And gawd. CHUCK was co completely romantic. It wasn't the least bit corny. Chuck and Blair make the perfect pair. It used to be Dan and Serena. But seriously, I sometimes think that Serena's a bit of a schizo. No, scrap that. It's ALL the time.
-

Watched make-up videos on Youtube after that. They are really fab. But I really don't think I can include make-up as an everyday routine for me. For starters, I hate layering stuff on my face. Even the innocuous moisturizer can set the ants going into a mad frenzy in my pants. Hazeline Snow is the only thing that makes me feel like there's nothing on my face. I am really tempted to buy Clean&Clear's moisturizer again though. If you layer it on real thick before you sleep, you wake up to a soft and dewy complexion. BUT I have more than enough of moisturizers... Not to forget eyeliners (of various colours), hair products, eyeshadows, lipglosses (which are like vampires because they NEVER see daylight. Haha. Vampires just came into the sentence because I just read an article about the upcoming 'New Moon' on Popsugar.com. Completely anticipating it!), lipbalms and whatnot.
-

It's really fab that I spent whatever that's left of my money last night. Then I won't go stocking up on stuff which I don't need. *rolls eyes again* After dance last night, I wanted to get myself a bottle of almond drink from the herbal store on the 2nd level. It's 2 bucks per bottle. Being the soon-to-be Mathematics student, I did some calculation (Why I didn't do any earlier puzzles me. I think it has something to do with convenience and being pure lazy.) and whoa... I am spending like *drum rolls for earth-shattering amount*... 24 bucks on almond drinks every month. It's earth-shattering when you compare it to a can of almond powder from NTUC, which cost about 3 bucks!!!

So being all smug and satisfied with my 'smartness', I hopped down to NTUC and rang up a bill of 37 bucks. I got 3 boxes of cereals (Frosties, Honey Stars and Koko Krunch), 2 packets of soy milk (one green tea flavour and the other, brown rice), Blueberry Yoghurt, Banana Pocky Sticks (which I heart to the very max.), CHEESE, cheese dippers, TIM TAMS (Mint)... and of course, my almond powder.

I hate cheese usually. (Yes, the horrid after-feeling terror strikes again.) But last night, I was like "OHHHH. I wanna eat cheese!!!" after I saw the cheese section. Go figure.
-

This post has been completely useless. So if you have come to the end, I have just wasted like 5 minutes of your life?!? Haha. I shall go read my Sandra Brown book now.

Toodles.
-

P.S.: This girl, who hails from UK, has been having botox injections since 18. Her first one was a birthday present from her Mum. Nevermind the KNOWN fact that Botox can actually render one expressionless permanently since it actually paralyzes your muscles. The girl is just on the BRINK of adulthood. Are wrinkles even in her dictionary?!?

My new name is Ah Hui.

Okay. God knows that if I were a dentist, I would make the egregious error of extracting the wrong tooth or even kill my patients by leaving tools in their mouths by accident. Haha. Got the rejection letter from NUS yesterday, which was apparently prognosticated by my dearest Chua. Sighhh. Okay, I'm not that upset. In fact, I'm quite relieved. Haha. When I left college, I was so friggin' adamant about not seeing another lab for the rest of my life. So... Yay?!? Oh gawd. *gloom*
-

But I kinda think I'm blacklisted by NTU. Haha. I signed up for the Exclusive Talk for Top Students, Open House, Tea Reception for Mathematical Science Students, said okay to the CN Yang Scholarship Interview... All of which I made a no-show. Heh. Okay, I'm seriously regretting it. Some first impression to the school adminstration. Oh well.
-

Anyway, I'm really psyched out to go finally be able to go university. Like WOHOO!!! And oh oh oh. Another thing to WOHOO!!! about is that I finally got my new pair of spectacles! Hahaha. :))) Yay yay yay! But I think I caught the dumb SEASONAL flu. Big sigh. Terminal 1's air-conditioning system seems to have goon bersek. I wouldn't be surprised if there were a snowstorm.
-

Okay, I'm heading to bed now. Friggin' tired. Hahaha.

Pigs sweat. Humans perspire.

I checked my inbox almost everyday, hoping so darn hard that I will get that email from NUS. But to no avail... Sighhh. Aunt said that rejection letters for Dentistry are already out. I find myself holding my bloody breath for mine. :(((
-

MJ Girls Soccer got 3rd!!! Wohoo!!! As a member of the pioneer batch, I'm sooo happy for them!!! But as a best 友達 of Chua, I'm like UGHHH. 'Cause that dumb woman will go on and on about her failure for our year (Psst. She was the Captain. :))) ) Anyway, MJ guys are up against VJ again on Monday! Darn it. I really wish I could be there, but I guess I wouldn't have the same feeling and anxiety that I had 3 years ago. Oh! My brother will be there though. Cool beans. Haha. Somehow. *shrugs*
-

I got myself more contacts. I hate, hate, hate contacts because my head looks like it's all ballooned up (I know, it's some pyscho thingy and that it's absolutely not true, but that's what I see in the mirror, kay.) but I think it beats looking washed out. Meantime, I shall pray damn friggin' hard that my old spects can be repaired or that I will come across a nice think black pair of spects, before university starts. Ughhh.

WHY DID I HAVE TO GO STEP ON MY SPECTS?!? ばか！！！

Black mascara tears.

I got my new spects. But the colour seems too light. It makes me kinda washed out. Uhhh... JET BLACK EYELINER, I NEED YOU. Please let the old one be repairable. Please, please, please. At an affordable price too!!!
-

Work has been draining. Emotionally. Maybe it's due to other things too, but it gets so bad that I can't help but cry on my way home... It gets so bad that I don't feel like putting in the extra effort anymore. It gets so bad that I just wanna call it quits. Now that Mum has got a job, I needn't worry about the fees of my courses so much. (I just can't blow like 600 bucks at one shot anymore, but that's COMPLETELY fine with me. Heh.) Even though I open up more in the current store, as compared with the previous, somehow I feel that turning in the apron will not be accompanied with nostalgia, tears and frequent moments of I-miss-this-and-that anymore.

Perhaps it's because there are no regular customers to look forward to. Perhaps it's because there is anything else that needs a getaway from. Perhaps it's because it just died.

Perhaps I'm just choosing the easy way out. I'm just choosing defeat over everything else. Defeat is so much easier, isn't it?
-

Oh! I bought another Tinkerbell!!! She's so pretty!!!
-

Anyway, I will be an official NTU student after this entry 'cause I'm gonna accept my offer. No news from NUS, so I'm taking it as a no go. Oh well.
-

(10 seconds later)

The course you accept

NTU - Mathematical Sciences

has been registered by the

Joint Acceptance system.on 22 May 2009, 10:54:16 PM

Thank you.

Murphy's Law.

One of the worst days of my life...

1. Dirtied my Espirit pants with mocha.
2. Lop-sided fringe as a result of self-enhancement.
3. Stepped on and hence, destroyed my ONLY pair of spects.
4. Eyes are sore from contacts.
5. Tomorrow's Wednesday and not Thursday.
6. Head looks 10 times bigger in the mirror when I wear my contacts.
7. Received an email for the application of MOE Teaching Scholarship (I'm not so certain about being a teacher anymore. I took the mistake of applying for the PSC Scholarship as a sign from Above that I'm not meant to teach.).
-

Gawd. Thursday, I need you. Fix my darn fringe, sign up for Jap classes (finally), piercing, Bryan's and Lixin's Classes...

I feel like fixing my fringe tomorrow. Ughhh.
-

Sorry.

Keep throwing away. Throw, throw, throw.

I just cancelled my interview for the CN Yang Scholarship (which I didn't apply for in the first place. Yes, I was banking on the MOE Teaching one. Oh well. Just as well. I don't want to be a teacher anymore.). Screw all thoughts that are sprinting through my brain.
-

THURSDAY IS FREE.
Whee. :)))

大好きです。

I love Shunkerbell!!! Hahaha. I'm watching 花より男子 for the gawd-knows-how-many-times. It's my all-time favourite-st drama and EVERYONE should watch it. You will be missing out A HELL LOT if you don't. *grins*
-

Meanwhile, I'm crazy busy; Working 4 shifts next week, dancing on 3 days, running on 2 days, attempting to study my 日本語, doing my SAT book, trying very miserably to read the newspapers in time for Thursday (So far, I have read about some famous people whom I can't remember their names, Chris' and Fann's wedding, holes on the steps of Singapore River, Aware issues and umm... That's all?!?).

Busy busy busy, so pardon me if I stop replying to all your messages altogether. And oh! Fil and I decided to swap our Fb passwords and change them (without telling each other what the new ones are) so that we will be free from the slavery of social-networking sites. Hahaha. No more soft addict. AHEM. I wonder how my Restaurant City is doing... Hahaha.
-

And oh oh oh! I finally see Zac Efron's hotness. Hahaha. Watched '17 again' with Derrick. :))) Thanks for accompanying me!!! We should have movie dates every Saturday! Hahaha. There's a Sandra Bullock movie coming out! And tons more. And and and I so wanna watch the 'Hannah Montana Movie'!!! Hahahaha. Yayaya!!! Movies galore! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. :)))
-

Okay, じゃまたね！I wanna go study 日本語 now. Wish aku luck! Hahaha. :)))

I'm still trying to get the feel you're talking about.

Ughhh. The weather's such a bitch. One minute it was all ominous, threatening to drown us all in the century's worst ever thunderstorm and the next, it's as clear as crystal. (Cue: A violent string of profanties.)

It's not too late to go down to the studio now if I go into fast-forward mode. But now that I have done my night bath (Which involves doing tons of stuff like conditioning, exfoilating, moisturizing blah blah blah... Yes, yours truly is under the illusion that she is a tai tai.), I'm far too much of a sloth to drag myself down, only to come back 2 hours later to repeat the whole darn procedure. (Yes, I hate my night baths. But yes, I'm dead disciplined. Yeah right.)

And besides, I have got cramps. Either from Big Auntie or from the crazy 200 crunches which I forced upon myself just now. *shudders* How did I ever manage that feat?!? Think JH. Think JH. Darn. I wish girls had some sort of an army too. I mean, toned arms and legs, defined abs, great tan... fab bod!!! I so want it!!!
-

I have not watched '17 again'. Not even the darn trailer. Work and dance have been sucking my life. Not that I mind. Just that when it's my off days, all I can do is sleep, sleep and more sleep. Take for instance, today. My day started at 11.30am. I surfed the net, took my lunch, watched telly for a mere one and a half hours and BOOM! I slept all the way till 4pm. Went to the gym for an hour, bathed, just took my dinner and the night has yet to be unravelled. I forsee an early night though. HAHAHA. Stupid sloth.
-

SCHOOL, START ALREADY?!?

Won't you be my drug?

I finally got a bit of a certain groove that KS taught us (and which my body, of course, refused to be taught). And I let go during Yutaki's class. :)))

Well, it was mainly due to the fact that I was standing all the way at the back and could hardly catch the nitty gritty details of Yutaki's movements. So I improvised. Haha. Messy, hell yes. But it was a fab feeling.

I want it in all my other classes. Minus the messiness, duh.
-

I am addicted to Pussycat Doll's 'Jai Ho' now. Darn that I can't get it into my iPod. Blah!

missed. again.

Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest one
I still got the seed

You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into...

You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched it I was burned
Oh I think you should know

Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to stay...

love, sex, magic.

We have carefully evaluated your abilities and accomplishments in school, and have considered all aspects of your application. We regret to inform you that after reviewing your application thoroughly, we are not able to offer you a PSC Scholarship. Nevertheless, we have referred your application to the relevant Ministries according to your career preferences/choices, for the Ministries’ consideration. The Ministries will retain your application and will contact you in future if there are suitable opportunities that may arise.

(from PSC@psd.gov.sg)

OMG. I'm the dumbest girl EVER. I was supposed to apply for the Education Merit Scholarship (Teaching), and not the friggin' PSC Scholarship!!! Duh, I CANNOT get it. I mean, I'm not even friggin' eligible for it!!! For the ignorant ones (Ahahaha. Look who's talking.), you need 11 AU in order to qualify. Yours truly has only 10.

WHERE IS MY BRAIN?!? WHERE?!?

he has beautiful eyes and the moves.

Watching KS dance just makes me wanna try harder, harder and even harder.
I'm gonna miss him a hell lot. :(((
-

somehow, i thought that that was an invitation.
and i really, really, really wanted to ask you for either one.
but ughhh, in front of everyone?
i mean, it completely makes sense that a student asks that of a teacher,
and not the other way round.
but still...
sigh, sigh and triple the sigh... :(((
-

I think I'm thinking wayyy too much. Okay, I am. Haha.

He has all those sharp, controlled movements.

Goodness. I'm crazy tired today. Nevertheless, today's shift was FUN with Fizal and Shirin. And yes, because of Fizal, there was a hell lot of nonsense. Haha. He was tired, to top it off. So he was just making really random comments and laughing to himself. Hahaha! XD
-

I really did overspend. :((( And it doesn't help that I decided to splurge on 6 L.A. Girl eyeliners at one go just now. I'm gonna leave my NETS card home from now on. Bye bye invisible cash. :(((
-

I want to go lie in bed and slip off into slumber land now. Night!
-

P.S: I miss Bryan already.