my balloon is up in the clouds and i can't see it.

I would have used the word 'deprived/ desperate' on you if we were what we were before. How much things have changed. It sucks that politeness gets in the way now.
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Today was the lousiest day in many, many weeks. (Friday was fab because it was spent watching rom-com 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' with ZT. Luke is beyond perfection. I seriously hope that she still has moolah on Monday. Please do!!!) Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, or certain decisions made or because of the reactions of certain people... Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Nothing was right at all. I missed Worship 'cause I had to go to A2 to pass Abang Sam some card and paper and then, make a trip to EP to pass Anqi gloves and stirrers. I was hoping that Worship could be the brightening spark in an oh-so-bloody-bleak day. I very nearly wanted to bunk off church, rent a DVD, go home, play sick and just curl up in bed in front of the TV with my bolster (Dad THREW it away. My bolster since f-o-r-e-v-e-r. He claimed that it was mangled cloths. *cries*) while the rest go to Grandaunt's place because I was dead tardy, knackered and just wasn't in the mood for anything else. But, as always, Jesus is and will always be the strongest pillar that I have in my life. Thank you for the song 'Overcome'. I want to be able to do so by Your blood, and only by Yours.
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Hopped on a bus to Afghanistan and spent quite a bit on toiletries. I love walking through that area. It makes me feel grounded. Haha. Even though night fell by the time I was done, I still walked home (A friggin' scary journey home. Badly-illuminated streets, crazy dogs barking like they are on their deathbeds...) . Without my iPod. I haven't done so in a long while and it's surprising how refreshing it can get. You ruminate. It reminds me of a comprehension which we did last year; everyone else is just so caught up with the world that we forget to run through our own thoughts, take a breather from the day's happenings... We just let everything rush through us.

I thought about how I keep losing focus in the things that I want to achieve. I need to be pushed into a corner before I do something about it. But that shouldn't be the case. Procrastination has reared its ugly head in me, and it has done so for tens and thousands of years. It's disgusting. And then my thoughts were shifted to the fact that how I think so little nowadays. I'm just taking a day as it is, without re-evaluating anything. You lose maturity in that way. You forget what's important in life. You can no longer get the big picture. You're just concentrating on details that are superfluous. Life no longer teaches you anything.
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When I reached the playground, a little boy on a bike shouted that he saw a shooting star. And then I realized that I no longer look at the sky. I used to do it all the time. When we were supposed to be singing the National Athem and saying the pledge, my eyes are raised to the sky. On school buses, I would want the seat beside the driver, just so that I could look at the clouds and form things with them.

Clouds are the most majestic things on Earth. (Not that stars aren't. I used to hate nights because they are all so black. Like black = monsters = scary. Haha. It's really cause you never know what's really out there. The unknown.)
I lost that part of me too.
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I hope that my next date will be spent watching clouds drift by, pink cocktails with little green paper umbrellas by our side.

Just you and me and our clouds (and insect repellent).