my head's held high.

I raised both eyebrows. And then, when I was done with the paragraph, they (my eyebrows) started dancing. HAHA. I definitely want that explanation. *in a stern tone* First thing in the morning, Miss Elizabeth, you hear me?!? Haha.

I was rambling throughout the entire conversation. I felt like someone had to talk every single minute to make up for the time that we 'lost'. Crazy much? I guess, watching all these vamp shows have made me more cognizant of how little time we have on earth, how every single minute, every second counts... They have forever. What do I have? 50 more years? Life's ticking away. Quickly. Right at this moment. Doesn't it scares you, just thinking about it?

Dang, Charlene (and Eli, indirectly). Don't you ever waste time being scared of this and that, moping around, wallowing, pitying yourself or doing whatever that weak humans are prone to do! Time isn't meant to be spent so foolishly away(Money, on the other hand, is a whole different matter... AHEM!)!
-

So what the hell am I doing here, when I'm supposed to be working on my future?!? Sigh. At least I know that I'm 100% human. Not a hint of fairy blood in me, my ancestor ain't a witch, my parents don't shapeshift... SIGH.

Haha.

Life is a maze, and love is a riddle.

Feeling unbelievably happy at the moment. Could be the aftermath of watching 'The Vampire Diaries' (ZT, psst!!! Go watch it if you have the time. It's not sappy like Twilight, so I think you'll enjoy it!). Anyway, after my bath, I promise, PROMISE, to get down to work. And planning. And make-up.
-

I have 4 packages which have yet to arrive. And the sellers aren't replying. It's probably because it's the hols right now. But ughhh. I hate this feeling. Buying stuff online stinks sometimes, really.
-

Eli's gonna come back today so big yay! FINALLY. A month without her (you) really sucks. Which reminds me of my timetable. The admin was really helpful this time round, which took me by surprise, no doubt. They very harshly rejected my plea for help at the beginning of December. I was feeling quite huffy about it when I realized that I failed to mention that I was on a SCHOOL trip and not on a personal vacation. Probably explains everything (I mean, I managed to secure a spot in a class which has NO vacancies. Magic, not.) I'm trying to find Eli's entry about her timetable but I can't.

Anyway Eli, there wasn't much planning that I could do. (I HOPE TO GOD THAT I CAN SECURE A SPOT FOR FRENCH 2. Otherwise, I'm gonna do some serious camping, come the Add/Drop period. ): ) I have to attend school everyday, again. But for now, Mondays and Fridays are my 2 late days. OH-LA-LA!  Wednesdays are very free. I have only 2 hours of classes EARLY in the morn. WHEEE!!! I have designated that day for me to rush all my revision. Homework will be done every weekday so that I have my weekends free to catch up on my French, English, Japanese and TV dramas! What a splendid plan!!! *clasps hands together and grins*
-

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why


Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot
To be something I'm not

I'm a fool out of love
Cause I just can't get enough

I say, don't slow it down.
Speed it up a little somemore.
Don't make it stop.

Because you're with me.
*grins*

i met a boy. we talked. it was epic. and then the sun came up and reality set in.

Each time I think that my life's a complete tangle,
Life itself turns around and taps me on the head.
"HELLO GIRL. THINK SIMPLE."
-

Mmhmmm.

Have I got down to business yet?
Eh nope. But I will. After I'm done with 'Vampire Diaries'.
-

This is reality.

Right here.

the L word.

If I had known that all it took was 2 weeks in a foreign land to get over the irrational admiration that I had for him, I sooo would have signed up for a trip sooner. Dang.

Oh well. I don't regret the silliness one bit anyhow. At least I ain't left with 'if's and question marks. (But boy, was I silly! I enjoyed it (the silliness) though. Haha.)
-

One moment you're feeling it,
And the next, POOF! It's all gone.
Like magic.

it's quite frightening, really.

I don't want to forget the look that he had on his face as he regarded me. Yet, to do otherwise, will bring some sort of hmmm... Should I say 'pain'? (I really ought to go brush up on my vocabulary.) No, wait. The word's 'regret'. But would such a feeling be justified in such a situation? I mean, I have no reason to feel any... Thing. He didn't scare me, no. But he did shake me a little. Wish I knew what he was talking to the air steward and stewardess so fiercely about. Wish I hadn't let him catch me trying to make sense of the situation. Wish he didn't look at me that way and make a 180 degrees turn and be a complete gentleman to me as I was about to leave the plane. (Awww, dang. My English really sucks. Big time.)

I know I will forget his expression soon enough and when I read this entry ten years down the road, I will be feeling extremely puzzled and a tad frustrated, as I do with some of the other enigmatic entries of mine. But I will brush it off soon enough.
-

I gave my future quite a bit of though in China. Everyone else around me was 23, 24 or 25. It was hard not to. Relationships was a hot-potato topic. It scares me a little... That very soon, I will be their age. Will I be fretting over this issue then? I haven't got anyone now. And I don't really see much possibility of having any one in the near future, going by the way I treat certain things. 20 feels old enough already. I can't imagine what 21, 22... What more 25 will feel like to me.

I just hope to God, very badly and desperately, that I will be the person that I want to be (I know, 'I' should really be replaced by 'God'.) and that I am where I want to be (Again, the same thing.).
-

Anyway, I have bummed around long enough now. It's time to get down to business. After I'm completed with 'Definitely Dead'. Haha.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2009, PEOPLE!!! <333

Thanks to you, my sis lost all her stuff. Including her writing portfolio. And does she have backups on her laptop? NO. It may not strike you as important stuff but it was to her. The least thing you could do was apologise when she told you about it. Even if you didn't know that she lost her portfolio (along with a gazillion other stuff), it is a common courtesy that when you spoil someone's item, you a-p-o-l-o-g-i-s-e.
-

I was trying to calm myself down (as much as I possibly could) to talk things with you when I picked up the phone. But oh, behold!!! It seemed that you were the victim here because you friggin' SHOUTED at me about the Wednesday's thing. Do you have any common sense at all? My sister is C-R-Y-I-N-G. How fecking often is it that she C-R-I-E-S?!? Do you think that she will be in the mood to sit through even half an hour with you?!? She will be faking every smile and laughter and that's gonna make me so darn fecking sick.

Yes, the dinner was important. But I think my sis' feelings count for more. Obviously, you were on a different wavelength.
-

And no, I don't find it rude at all for slamming down the phone when you were wishing me a Merry Christmas (so sarcastically, may I add) because you deserve it.

If you have any conscience in you at all, you make sure you pay my Dad for it. It's more than a fecking hundred bucks. But oh right, you have spent all your money on your never-ending wants. Typical.

JOY.

Mmhmm. It felt so good to wake up on the bed, one arm hugged tight round the bolster and the other tucked neatly under the pillow. Warm, really warm, sun's rays beat down on my face, the teevee was on and I knew that Gran's out in the living room watching '早安你好'. Bliss, bliss, utter bliss.
-

Barefooted, I pounded into the toilet. And I forgot where the switch was. Out of habit, my hand went up the wall in the toilet, when the switch was actually outside. China felt so long ago now. My body's tired and aching in all the weird places. But boy, it's good to be wrapped in only ONE layer of clothings. And thin ones at that. Lovely.

The sun's bearing its scorching rays on the pool outside my house. I can hear kids screaming gaily, mums speaking in rapid English. Sis's talking to Gran... The familiar sounds of my family. I miss much!
-

Spent an hour plus chatting with Chua last night. Bestie's down with the dreadful food poisoning so we're tentatively meeting up tomorrow. Today's a trip down to IKEA. A troublesome trip, but one that's solitary and very much desired. Gonna buy some stuff for the room. Initially, I wanted to have Christmas all year round. But now that the walls are painted yellow, the idea seems a little incongruous. Summer or spring, perhaps? Maybe I can get permission from Dad to paint my walls a deep blue. Then I can stick little snowflakes all over. (:
-

Before I hit the sack last night, I spoke with Mum. Told her the happenings. Didn't seem much, really. But I did skip some bits (which I will be confiding in you, Eli. Haha. Actually, the 'feeling' will probably be gone by the time you get back. But it's all in the letter. (: ).
-

Anyway, just a little update for you, Eli, before I go pack my bed. I got my closure. (: And I may be seeing her this Sunday. She's attending RL now. (:

Loving and missing you, bud, so much by the way.
I think I will hug you for a good ten minutes before I let you go when we finally get to meet up!
-

Ziting, up for movies this week??? Sms me. (:
-

even if it were just a simple gesture,

it made the heart skip faster just a tad,

it made the breath hold longer just a tad.

BUT too bad. too bad. too bad.

the clouds tell a story, didn't you know love?

Hello world. I'm back to terrorize civilization!!! Haha. I was speaking to Kelvin the other day on MSN while I was still in Suzhou and he mentioned that I sounded as if I was attending a boot camp instead. Eli, could you imagine if I did what you're doing now? Chua said I would be back within 2 days. I said one. Haha.

-

I have tons to say about the trip. Especially the last few days. I'll have to pull an all-nighter if I were to pen down everything tonight. Besides, I wanna fill in Mum on the stuff first. So I guess all thoughts/ reflections will unravel themselves in time to come. (:

-

Grateful and thankful for every single thing that happened. From the trip to the airport, reaching Suzhou, attending classes, the countless of sightseeing and shopping, the laughter, the tears, the constant linking of arms and huddling in the cold, the night run on the campus' track, the mad-ass scary jaywalking, the incident at Fisher's Coffee which made me hold my breath for just a little moment... all the way back to Dad's and Mum's arms. Thank you God for every every little bit that happened!!!

Big major shoutouts to Elaine, Charmian, Wei Ching, Vanessa, Adrella, Shivali, Shu Hui and Dawn. Without them, I would have got Dad to book me a flight back within 2 days. Thank you for battling the cold with me, for taking incredible care of me and for simply being who you are. Thanks a hell lot for making this trip an unforgettable one and I'm missing you guys tons already!!! Can't wait to see you guys on the 5th! (:

-

Seriously, if Dad was hoping to get a more independent Charlene back, he will be sorely disappointed. I'm exactly how I was when I left. Pampered in Singapore and equally pampered in China by the gang. Hehe.

-

Room's painted a cheery yellow. (: Gonna hit IKEA tomorrow. And golly, (500) Days of Summer was a beautiful show. (: Business class rocks! Hahahahahahahaha!

FOURteen days.

Ah gosh. I haven't got any idea what to blog about. So this is something which I got from someone's blog.
-

10 things you want for Christmas:
1. Stephen Moyer
2. Joy and safety for my family
3. A neat room (LMAO! I will pack it when I come back. PROMISE.)
4. A good timetable for next semester
5. Perserverance
6. Diligence
7. Faith
8. Confidence
9. Money
10. Make-up and clothes

9 musicians/bands you love:
1. Taylor Swift
2. Nickelback
3. Planetshakers
4. Lady GaGa
5. Rush of Fools
6. Chris Daughtry
7. Akon
8. The Goo Goo Dolls
9. Faber Drive

8 things you do everyday:
1. Check out Popsugar
2. Blog
3. Munch on tibits (chocolates, mostly)
4. Thinking of stuff to do
5. Pushing myself in my head
6. Thank God
7. Sleep
8. Teevee

7 things you enjoy:
1. Munching on Swiss chocolate musli bars.
2. Watching sitcoms/ dramas.
3. Jogging
4. Shopping
5. Blogging
6. Reading
7. Spending time with friends

6 things that will always win your heart:
1. Stephen Moyer
2. Small stuff (Gestures, surprises... It's the small things that matter.)
3. Remembering the stuff that I said
4. Vampires
5. LOL. I have no idea. I don't think about stuff like that!!!
6. -

5 favourites:
1. Movie: No particular favourite, really. I do like a couple though.
2. Song: Ditto the above.
3. Tumblr blog: quote-book
4. Word: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!!
5. Colour: Green, deep red, navy blue, deep fuschia... Everything but pastels

4 smells you enjoy:
1. Roasted coffee beans
2. Green tea
3. Stella McCartney's perfumes
4. New books

3 places you want to go:
1. Los Angeles
2. New York
3. London

2 Favorite Holidays
1. Christmas
2. Christmas

1 person you’d marry on the spot:
1. Stephen Moyer. (No Taylor Lautner, 'cause he's too young!!!)
-

Off to check out the teevee and maybe a trip down to Tampines to get that knitted red dress!

And he said "So stubborn."...

I'm gonna have my hair done tomorrow! *feels excited* Haha. Finally! Nice hair awaits me! But will it be curls or poker-straight hair? Hmmm...
-

The movie was fab! Though seriously gruesome. I mean, yes, they are zombies you're smashing BUT they used to be people!!! Thank goodness that I managed to get over that bit quickly, otherwise I would have spoilt the fun for Jules! I think I'm born for chick flicks. Seriously. Hahaha. (How can anyone be serious about that?!?) I'm not really into the whole killing-people-whether-they-are-bad-or-evil thing. Fiction or not, murder makes me squirm.

Oh! The girl's real cool though. Love the whole smokey-eyes-bangs-almost-reaching-your-eyes look. And dang, does she and her little sis kick asses! Haha. The bad cowboy (whatever his name was in the show) was darn cool too. And so was the protaganist. Oookay. Everyone was cool! Haha.
-

Cannot wait to get my stupid hair fixed tomorrow. My hair is seriously the bane of my existence (Umm. Exams too.). Haha. And I'm loving Lady Gaga's 'Paparazzi'.
-

I'm just writing about random stuff because I feel really kinda lost without Eli. The girl has gone off to Nepal for a month. For the past few mad crazy months, I had been leaning on her so much. And now, I haven't got her with me. Ugh. I hate this feeling the most.

You have someone in your life, you're in constant contact with him/ her, if anything happened he/ she's the FIRST person to pop into your head and you call him/ her up immediately to tell him/ her. And the next minute... He/ she's gone. There's You can't contact him/ her at all. There's the emptiness, desperation... Feeling lost... I mean, of course, it's not like that with Eli!!! Ah. I can't explain it. But I do comprehend what Bella was feeling when Edward left. Boy, is it the WORST feeling on earth. Ever. And I don't plan to ever put myself in a position that's at risk of sinking into the shit pool again.
-

Why am I writing about crappy stuff again?!? *knocks my head* Hahaha. Oh dang! I miss Rahman! Haha. Man, am I random or what?!? Anyway, my NYX lipstick hasn't come! I was anticipating it so much because I finally found it in the sahd I wanted (Snow White). Please don't let it be lost! ):

It's really annoying when someone says something and does another thing. Ugh. So annoying.
-

P.S.: Jules and I were accosted by some lady for freelance modelling. Jules turned her down. Pronto! Haha.

from the neck up.

Caught 'New Moon' in the theatres finally! Haha. Lennard very kindly offered to watch it with me, and so did Derrick. But it's really alright for me to go to the theatres alone. Anyway, TAYLOR LAUTNER was utterly and crazily gorgeous! As always. But you know... His body looks kinda umm deformed?!? Lmao! I know, everyone's like raving at his hot bod. But it just looks weird to me. His back reminds me of 'The Hulk'. Umm... Ew. I remember Tim going how I'm attracted to his bod more than anything else, when I was gushing over Lautner on MSN to him. I was like heck no! And whilst watching the movie today, I realized that it was the first time that I was actually taking note of his body. I mean, the previous 3 times that I watched 'New Moon', I was looking at his facial expressions all the time; the way he grinned, the way his face fell etc.

I do that a lot. I usually read up the story before watching a movie. And during the movie itself, I watched people's expressions. More than anything else. So Taylor's gorgeous to me only from his neck up. And the whole point of these 3 paragraphs is... Well, Taylor's gorgeous because of his gorgeous face. HAHAHA. Gawd. This sounds so bimbotic.
-

I think the human body looks weird, anyway.
Got to jet now. Zombies await me tonight.
-

P.S.: Got myself Rimmel London's Lastign Finish Minerals Loose Powder Foundation in 100 Ivory and 103 True Ivory. I tested out Ivory which looks supremely orange, as noted by users on MUA. It looked okay initially. Guess I'm returning the True Ivory now. ):
P.P.S.: I have a really dreamy poster of Taylor Lautner (from Seventeen, USA). It looked so '70s because of the red background. And no, I don't like the look of that era but guess it will do. Wish I were rich so that I could buy another copy of 'New Moon'. Love that picture of him and Bella. AND there's a friggin poster inside. Dang, seriously!

post-exam pinks!

Headed down to town today, well yesterday really, with Dor. We didn't really know where to go, so we kinda walked aimlessly?!? I got myself a Easy French Step-by-Step and the US version of Seventeen (Only because of the fab make up et tu sais there was a poster of a certain werewolf that I wanted. Ahem.) at Kinokuniya, Rosebud Salve at Sephora, Rimmel London's Lasting Finish in 100 Ivory (Dor got the 103 True Ivory. And I'm loving this!!!), a leather cover and guards for my iPod Nano at Epic, chocs from Marks&Spencer for my siblings and 2 packets of ORANGE M&Ms! How fab is that?!? I can't wait to eat them!!! (Come to think of it, why haven't I opened them up already?!?)

Oh. We caught 'Case 39' too. Ran out halfway and went back in to get our 6 bucks worth of... masochistic fear, shut my eyes and ears 3/4 of the show... Won't ever go near a horror show with a 3-foot long stick.
-

Anyway, I can't stop raving about Rimmel London's Lasting Finish. I wish I could do a proper review but it's the only foundation that I have ever properly observed. I used foundation before, for performances et events mais they were few et I didn't really take notice. It gives a really lovely dewy look! I'm thinking of getting the loose powder later... Hmmm. I don't want to jump the bandwagon too early because I heard it made some people break out. Eeps!!!
-

I'm gonna catch 'New Moon' later with Lennard. It's been a-g-e-s since I last saw him. I really ought to be sick of the show. It'll be my 4th time already, yo!!! Haha. OH! The 2nd book, 'New Moon' bien sûr, has a superbly sexy cover of Taylor Lautner and Kristen AND there's a friggin' poster included. Dang!!! I so should have waited!!! (But je sais I wouldn't have!) Haha. Got to hit the sack now.

Bonne nuit et lots of love. (:
-

P.S.: 'Love Actually' is soooooooooooooooooooooo heartwarming!!! It makes Christmas sweeter than V-day, and yes, it ought to be THAT way. CHRISTMAS! I am anticipating it and I'm so glad to be back home by then! WHEE!!!
P.P.S.: There's this pair of shoes from Crocs that je veux badly!!! Samedi!!! Shopping with Mum (for the trip). (:
P.P.P.S.: Thanks, Dor love!!!
P.P.P.P.S.: Congrats to my dear Eli who topped her class for some Business, Government and gawd-knows-what-horrific-else finals! Awww, smarty pants! *sticks tongue out and grins* Have fun in Nepal! Et you'll be badly missed!

get into the mood already, yo!

Today marks the end of hell. This semester has been extremely exhausting, trying, frustrating and emotionally draining. I hope I grew stronger, no matter how little. (Yes, it applies in the literal sense as well.) I have only 8 more days in my sunny little island (Well, it hasn't been THAT sunny. Yucks.).

02/12: Shopping with Dor.
03/12: 'New Moon'!!! *screams like a crazed fan*
04/12: Aunt Dora's.
05/12: CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.
06/12: CHRISTMAS SHOPPING.

Really got to get my Christmas shopping done. Before I leave, I hope. But it's kinda hard when you have a sister whose list contains mad expensive stuff like Xbox (and you know she's only gonna be into it for a while. *rolls eyes*) and stuff that's HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE to get parce que the 'items' are PERSONNES (Think: George Clooney and some random guy from 'Glee'.). It'll be so ennuyeux si I were to get them to go buy their own presents et ask them to claim l'argent from me. Troubles, troubles... (I welcome such trivial troubles!!!).
-

Et si you're thinking about what to get me, I'm dead easy. Make-up stuff ou that fleece with Jacob Black/ Taylor Lautner on it from Twilight's Official Shop at Amazon.com! EEK!!! Hahaha. Oh! I don't mind a 'New Moon' Photobook either. Or anything Jacob Black/ Taylor Lauttner-related! *grins*
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Smell ya all at 7pm!!! (Ou earlier. I have been finishing all my papers early just so that I can come home earlier. Which probably means I'm dead screwed mais oh well.)