1, 2, 3, 4. RESPECT ME.

Bryan rocks my friggin' world. <333
-

Going for interviews robs me of my self-esteem. It's crazily demoralizing. I'm only good for studying. Nothing else. I'm a route-learner. BIG full stop. Nothing else, nothing else, nothing else. I'm not well-read, I do not have the smarts, I'm not street-wise. I'm NOTHING. I just practise and practise until I get it. Even if I 'beat a XXJC student', to quote someone, it doesn't matter at all because I'm still nothing.
-

I can't debate. I can't fault arguments. I can't fabricate beautiful, complicated, well-balanced essays. I don't read the newspapers (Even though, I will make it a point from tomorrow onwards. Yeah right.). I prefer to lavish time on shopping, reading chicklit, dancing, hitting the gym, achieving little trifling goals of mine which have NOTHING to do with education or intelligence. I lost all my patience with the Arts when I decided on the Science route 5 years ago. You are always in the grey areas for Arts, whereas black and white exist in the Science. (Though of course, the lines will be horridly blurred in university.) Sigh.
-

Still, I wanna give a shot at every opportunity that's thrown at me. It's something which I read today in People mag (Yes, Zac Efron said it.) and decided on.

Sigh. Please ol' please, just be kind to whatever that's left of my self-esteem. :(((

his skin is baby smooth.

Fil can't join me for Aerobics now 'cause she has her religious classes to attend. ZT may join me if Aunt okays it. OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let Aunt okay it. :(((
-

Tomorrow's the end of April. How fast. It keeps slipping by. And I can't pop or lock to save my life. :(((

I'm gonna miss KS a lot when he leaves.
-

Today's train journey was such a... Umm freaky incident. I was leaning on the glass panel (Habit. I don't sit unless I'm with friends or I'm dead dead dead knackered.) listening to Taylor Swift's 'White Horse' on repeat, when I noticed this guy in the next carriage. He had on those colourful shades (I'm sure there's a name for them 'cause they are pretty popular but it's not in my domain, so... Whatever. They are mighty ugly to me anyway.). Anyway, he kept turning round to look in my direction. I thought "Okay, so maybe I'm paranoid. He's probably looking somewhere else.". I mean, it's impossible to determine anyone's line of sight with shades on. Throughout the entire ride, his body was directed to the front and his face, to the left.

I was the last to get off the train at Commonwealth. Taking the steps (Habit.), I tried to get a last glimpse of him in the passing train to see if he were looking. But POOF!!! He had disappeared. And the next thing I knew, POOF!!! He was behind me. He quickened his steps so that he was right beside me. I doubled my pace, and he matched mine. I tripled my pace and nearly made a run for the gates. He didn't follow after that.

As a safety precaution, I decided to visit the little provision shop, hoping that he would be gone by the time I was done with my window shopping. BUT ughhh, he stepped into the shop too! I quickly left and made a dash for the control station. I wasn't gonna report anything though. I just needed the directions to Queensway Shopping Centre. Haha.

I headed to the bus stop and went straight to the end (Habit again.). I was looking at the list of buses when I noticed a bright red Kappa jacket popped up close behind me. And AHHHHHH!!! It was the same guy again, this time with his shades off. He stood there, with his head slightly turned behind until 198 came.
-

Coincidence, I'm sure that was what it was. But what on earth was going on at the train steps? The matching of pace? He didn't seem like he was mucking around or anything.

Maybe I had something on my face and he wanted to tell me?!? Oh well. I think I'm just overly-paranoid (Yes, habit. Haha.).

And oh yes. On the bus ride home, there was this guy who kept turning to look in my direction. But whenever I looked up to catch him, he would turn away. Ughhh. Like what in tarnation is happening?!?

Or maybe maybe maybe blue eyeliner is just too weird. HAHAHA. Perhaps I should get that teal eyeliner from L.A. Girl next time. Oh right. No more shopping. Darn.

Can you feel my excitement?

Fil and I are going for Aerobics class every Monday!!! OMG. OMG. OMG.
-

Shopping tomorrow. Hahaha. So much for the 'i'm-swearing-off-shopping-for-the-next-3-months'. Pssh!!!

so kiss her through the phone.

I didn't get to see Bryan today. This sucks. On a lighter note, I got myself

Adidas jacket
(Yes, now I have 10. And yes again, I only have one puny body.)
Adidas shoes
(Completely justified. I have 2 pairs of sports shoes, 1 pair of sneakers and 2 pairs of cheapo neh neh Mary Janes.)
Topshop oversized shirt
(Justified again. It's just too lovely, though admittedly, it's one size bigger than what I usually wear.)
3 tops from Punkstar
(Because I haven't stepped into Bugis Street or F.O.S for over a year plus.)
2 blue eyeliners
(So shoot me already.).

Which means I haven't got myself

Nike bag
(Because I gave away 3 bags.)
Dance/ Gym clothes
(Again, it's justified because I dance at least 3 times a week. Try to la.)
Sports bras
(because, well, they are a necessity.)
-

Still, thank you Dorcas for a wonderful girls' day out. :))) And I'm really sorry I stuffed you with Japanese food. Heh.

P.S: I finally managed to set foot into Uniqlo. Dorcas said it looked like a much bigger, more colourful Giordano. It looked like a more colourful Muji to me.
P.P.S: Hello Siu Pan!!! Yes, I will drink more water. Thanks for your concern. :)))

pokemeifyoudare.

The dress on the right is from Black Alice. It's gorgeous, isn't it? Not for everyday wear, but for D&D and stuff. Gosh. Lolita fashion is so swell, in their designs AND prices. Haha. They are crazily exorbitant by the way. I love black lacy skirts that flare out from the waist.

-

Excitement from clothes aside, I feel sick. Gawd. Sick = inefficiency. How I hate it. I hope I'm well enough to go for Bryan's today. There's work tomorrow.
-

I miss school days so much. I miss Eli, Fel and Fil. I miss days at the park, running like I weigh 5oo pounds. I miss my radio. Now, I'm just a jaded lazy old woman who doesn't make time for herself anymore.
-

Last night, I dreamt that I got something which I badly want right now. And we all know that dreams don't come true.

Gawd. I just want to curl up and cry.

i spot a flaw in perfection.

Smoke coming out of the mouth,
he's soaked in cigarette ashes.

Perfection is flawed.
Like I have always known.

-

SHOPPING SPREE tomorrow with Dorcas!!! I can't wait to get my wardrobe of getai clothes, or so Nat described it as. Hahaha. And to top it all off, there's Bryan too! :)))
-

I want to give it my all for dancing.

Starbucks love. <333

Oh my ma ma!!! This is sooo gorgeous!!! I didn't know that such Starbucks merchandize were actually sold. HOWEVER, they are only available in Japan. See, see, see?!? All the more reasons to study Japanese and migrate there to live, work, dance and die. Sigh sigh sigh. This is wayyy too pretty. I'm just going "Awww... Awww... Awww... DARN IT!". The 'darn it' bit comes because right now, I'm a million miles away from Japan, can't form a proper Japanese sentence and have 0 probability of going Japan within the next 20 years. Hahaha. Oh yeah. Besides this かわいい mobile strap, the Japanese also have seasons-themed series. For their Cherry Blossoms theme in March 2008, they had cookies, tube-cake (whatever this is), macaroons shaped in a petal of cherry blossom (how cool is that?!?) and of course, the tumblers, mugs and CD. Everything was pretty in pink pink pink!!! (http://8tokyo.com/2008/03/21/starbucks-coffee-japan-cherry-blossom-merchandises/)
-

I have officially quit my 2 jobs. Haha. Despite the fact that I'm always subconciously calculating opportunity costs, I am way over the moon. 20 years old, I don't need to work till my eyebags get all pregnant, yo. Haha. (Excuses, ahem.)

doubts and complexity hound at your feet.

i'm scared of rejection. i'm scared. i'm friggin' scared. i hope the deadline never comes.
-

And sometimes, it's just so tough to strike out a balanced friendship with a guy.

men and women are born differently for a reason.

i never believed a guy and a girl can be best friends. its either the girl liked the guy, the guy is gay or the other way round, and the other party doesn't want to bring the relationship to another/higher level. hence, the start of all that "best friends" bullshit.

(from Shiqi's blog)

How true. I think I'll stick to my girlfriends and them ladies only. I'm too tired to venture on the other side of the pasture for now. And after whatever that has happened for the past 3 years, I don't think I'll ever be up for being buds with guys anymore. Unless they are gay.
-

Meanwhile, Bryan is L-O-V-E. I managed to get most of the steps today. Most. Work harder, yo!

And dude, if only I was brave enough just to mumble a thank you... *pulls a face*

And another road closes.

Popping and locking are so tough. Coupled with the fact that I have yet to recover from the aftermath of graveyard, my body just refused to budge. Sigh. It must be so painful for KS to watch me, especially when I was standing just right beside him. Seeing his passion makes me want to dance so badly but my body's as stiff as a corpse. Ugh. It completely sucks.
-

Tuesday morning was a nightmare but thank goodness for Chris. Haha. The expression that he had on his face when this guy came out of the room, looking all glum and terribly shaken, and dropped his mobile is a real classic. Haha. It will be so cool if 2 years down the road we meet each other again and go "Did you remember that guy who dropped his mobile?". Haha. I really do hope you get in! And if otherwise happened, you would choose NTU. :)))

Anyway, the panel of interviewers were like Randy, Paula and Simon. Simon shot me left, right, centre, up and down. Sigh sigh sigh. And I practically aired my shallowness to the people who belong to the top tier of this country. Despite whatever that's on paper, I am a bimbo minus the pretty bit. And GP will forever remain elusive for me. Sigh sigh sigh and triple the sighs. :(

Fil's right. They must be thinking "Whatever is this crazy girl doing here?".
-

Was supposed to meet up with Chua today but that woman had to collect her stupid passport. Just as well anyway. I was knocked out for a good 5 hours when I reached home. Sleep, ah... It's almost as good as a million bucks. Pounds. Haha. Anyway, no more graveyards for me. I felt so friggin' useless, inefficient and inadequate last night. Sorry Isa! Sorry Shinyi!

Speaking of these 2 fellows, they completely wrote nonsense in the comm. book. *gives a blank face* And Kiat laughed at my partner's card. I was thinking "Eh... That's my BEST passport photo eh...". Out the window, goes my morale. *shakes head* Apparently I looked nerdy. I thought I only looked nerdy with my spectacles on. Sighhh. Wrong, wrong again. Haha. And no, you cannot see my partner's card or my EZ link card (if you haven't seen them before, that is).
-

I went tanning today. Lmao. Whatever. I barely changed colour. And I tanned really weirdly. Maybe my skin's uneven. All the time, I was just worrying that I will contract skin cancer in the next millisecond. I like being fair 'cause well, I was born fair. You look best in whatever that nature has bestowed upon you. And when you pile on the dark make-up, wear layered necklaces and black clothings, you can completely look like Death (from Neil Gaiman's Sandman series), which I absolutely love. But man, I don't want to be mistaken for an _______ anymore. It's the language, more than anything else. If you get me.
-

Because laziness runs in every vein of mine and of my annoyance with smses,

Fil/ Fel/ Jean: I want to go back to college to eat and slack. Are you guys free on May 4th???
JH: So you FINALLY have time for me? Hur hur hur. Haha. I'm not sure yet. I will let you know the minute I get my schedule.
ZT: '17 again'? You and me? And you look gorgeous in your Taiwan photos. :)))
Hao Yi: I know I have thanked you a million times already but still, THANKS THANKS AND A THOUSAND TIMES THANKS. You don't know how grateful I am, despite how it went. Heh.
CHUA: Woman, if you still want to live, you'd better save a day for me. SOON.
-

I have no idea where my earphones for my mobile went. I miss Muttons at Midnight. :((( Gonna turn in early tonight. Bryan tomorrow. YAY! :)))

My temper has been on the rage lately. Trivial things spark me off and with each spark, a fuse within me blows. I need university examinations to end so that I can have Chua back. I need my girlfriends' bosses to be magnanimous and grant them paid leave so that I can hang out with them. I need to be more intrepid so that dance can become a part of me, and not me becoming a part of dance. I need tomorrow morning to come and go quickly so that I don't feel so burdened.

I need Jesus and I need Him over and over so that I have someone to lean on. My back's all hunched already.
-

:(((

A.

you still come up tops.
always.
:)))

For the bozo.

HELLO SHAM. THERE'S NOTHING TO WRITE ABOUT YOU 'CAUSE YOU ARE BORING. :)))

The てるてる坊主 works!!!

I'm so so so so so bloody glad that things are fine now. I can't imagine life without you now, S. :)))

Your paranoia is completely superfluous.

GAWD. I want to scream. Why do they always just care about saving their own stupid skins? Even when you find one that seems to be different from the rest, one whom you clicked so perfectly well with from the moment you guys met, he has to go screw it up BIG time. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Who cares about what others say as long as we are clear about where we stand?
-

Dude. I'm mad. Friggin' mad. It's not even funny as a joke.

untouched.

I am getting crazily psycho-ed by Sham. 'Untouched' has not left my head since Tuesday morning. Ughhh. But darn, I really do love the lyrics. Especially the small bridge, when one of them goes 'And I need you so much'. Haha. I seem to always lean towards love songs that borders on psychosis. It's more romantic that way, I think. In a really dark, gothic way. Haha.
-

I lost my way to NUH today and was panicking like mad, walking to and fro, trying to get a cab on a small highway (Okay, it wasn't a highway. But it was like one. The type where there are the metal railings all over and it's impossible to stop a cab.). I was screaming "God, a saviour please!!!" and then, out popped this Japanese guy who spoke impeccable English. He gave me the direction but gawd, was it really long and complicated. I will NEVER trust edirectory.com or whatever it's called again!!! I alighted one entire stop earlier. And it's not a short stop. It was a friggin' long one. Ughhh. I hate panicking/ rushing before a test/ meeting/ work!!!
-

When I got to the 'waiting 部屋', it was filled with truckloads of people talking about their university applications for MEDICINE, how they were fretting over today's test blah blah blah. Anyway, I met Xiao Ying!!! (Though I forgot to bid her goodbye. :( ) She was telling me that most of the people there were from RJC. I was like *gives the Sham's face* -_-|||. We headed to Lab 3 for the 3 stations, which everyone already knew (It's all over the net, for those who are interested in applying next year. And seriously, go get someone who's in that faculty so that you can practise like mad and just breeze through it.). The girl in front of me cut herself and bled majorly huge puddles. I was like o_0 but she was dead calm about it.

For those interested in how I fared, everything that I did was out of shape and precision was wayyy off. But that's okay. 'Cause the whole place felt so MAN. Haha. Okay, my close buds will completely get it.

Sigh yeah. I had no feelings towards it whatsoever, after I was done. I'm not sure if it was because I was too afraid to harbour any or maybe, I was just too preoccuppied with getting to Bryan on time. Anyway, it's not like I have got any feelings towards it right now.
-

Whichever way it goes, Jesus has a plan for me. And it's gonna be the best plan for me. So I'm okay. :)

(This entry is seriously disjointed because 'Untouched' is on repeat on my iTunes.)

Head on the ground, shaken.

The little midget (The use of this little midget thing stuck with me since I read it in a book aeons ago. Haha. I think it's かわいいね!) in my head is making a hell lot of din. Gawd. It has been like this since Saturday. Though it's a mere 3 days ago, it feels like an awfully long time. It's like a perpetual hangover. Gawd, gawd, gawd.

-

(our name tags)

Meizhen, Kayan and I went for our BFH course yesterday. The above was what we did during class. I was introduced to all the members of SHINee and DBSK, I think. I only remember the one who looks like a girl. JaeJoong or something close to that. Haha. There were these 3 boys who slept right in front of the instructor. The whole time Meizhen and I were going that we can't believe that Kiat has to fork out a whopping $*** per person for this course.

Charlene, Meizhen, Kayan
(our tag numbers for the practical test)

Anyway, we aimed to be the first few to finish the theory test and that's what we got! Yay! We finished the whole thing around 17:09. Haha. Poor Sham, who finished his around 7 plus pm. Haha. NINNY YOU.

After that, we headed down to TAMPINES 1. But whoa man, it was crazy crowded. We went to Centuary Square instead for dinner. I was scammed for my dumb desert. It was full of ice and friggin' RED BEANS , cleverly and skilfully hidden right at the base. I was so disgusted. UGHHH. Meizhen and Kayan kept covering them with the spoon so that I would stop staring at them. Yucks! I hate green, red, black, yellow... Ugh. ALL BEANS, except soya beans of course. Gross, gross, gross. I don't care if they are good for the skin or whatever. They make me nauseous. *shudders*

We hung around a bit. This time I was introduced to Melody's evil twin, Kaori or something. After a while, we decided to take our chances with Tampines 1 again. Haha. It was so much much much less crowded around 9 plus, except for Uniqlo of course. Meizhen was/ is looking for a flannel shirt. But we didn't see any nice one at Topshop. We checked out the Singtel plans for Meizhen, who felt cheated with her 500 free smses. And whoo boy, there was SO MUCH FOOD. Japanese, to boot! I tried the Lime and Honey drink at Yumi House. おいしいね！We got New Zealand ice-creams; chocolate for M&K and green tea for me (as always). While waiting for Khairul, we visited Yamakawa Super and I got my siblings 7 drinks and a tube of sweets for 24 bucks. It seemed okay until... I told Sham. He was going on about how expensive it was and then he told me that his friend spent 81 bucks at Uniqlo. I was like okay, this guy is dead thrifty. And then he was like "I usually shop at Topman.". *mimics his signature straight-eyes-straight-mouth face* -_-
-

Meizhen: Eh guess how old she is? *points to me*
Khairul: 18???
Charlene J.: I LOVE YOU!!! But I love Meizhen (who said that she thought I was 16 when she first met me) and Kayan (who quickly added that she thought I was 15) more! Hahaha.
Khairul: *bewildered look* WHY SO OLD?!?
Charlene J.: HUH?!?
Meizhen: (something along the line of "What sort of question is that?!?")
-

There was one point during the train ride to Tampines when Kayan was trying to tie her fringe. She was trying to look into the mirror that Meizhen was holding and going, "I'm okay, I'm okay." and Meizhen was going "Can or not?". Both of them were really loud and everyone behind them was looking at them, trying to figure what was wrong. Hahahahaha.
-

Instructor: Does anyone know what's the difference between a chicken and a hen?
CY Partner: A chicken can make chicken rice. A hen, cannot.

The chicken's a generic name for hens and cocks. Whilst a hen is specific, pertaining to the female species. Gee. I always thought that chicken means it's cooked. And a hen is, well, a female bird.

Which reminds me. Hidayah said that beef is from the bull, when describing the salad to a Malay customer. Haha.
-

Oh oh oh. SHAM DIDN'T KNOW THAT ZARA SELLS MEN STUFF. Omg. Caveman. Caveman. Caveman. (Okay, that's probably why we are such good buds. I didn't know that you could withdraw a twenty from the ATM machine until yesterday. I have been painfully withdrawing 50s. Ugh.)

-

And umm... Why would anyone want to dye their down under BLUE?!? Cassie's new hairstyle screams bold bold bold.

Ten years' down the road, I want to see myself in London, doing what I want to do.
-

Reminder: Do what you're supposed to do and do it well. That's it. Ignore everything else.

Stupidity strikes again.

Mind your own stupid business and do what you are supposed to do and do it well, Charlene. That's all. Nothing else. Stupid you.
-

Thank goodness for checkers.
And thank you Kayan and Meizhen for a wonderful day!!! :)))

emopostsodon'twelcomeit.

I did a million and one quizzes on Facebook. Should have gone out with JH. I'm still very much knackered. My head's throbbing. But I don't wanna go to bed.
-

I miss whatishisname. Sigh. Which is really bad. I haven't even got any idea why he's popping into my head a gazillion times now. It's been more than a year already.

It's so hard getting over somebody. And the future is just gonna be bad bad bad, because the past hangs over it. There are so many things that I like now because of him and so many habits that I have now because of what he did. It's my own doing.
-

Still, there's always that tiny rainbow.
I suppose.

IT'S SHOPPING TIME.

OMG. TAMPINES 1 IS THE PLACE. I love love love Tampines!

There are Adidas, Yamakawa Super, Sasa, TOPSHOP, Action City, Manpuku Japanese Gourmet Town, Cold Storage, Yamazaki Boulangerie Chaude and many many more. I want to go!!!
-

But patience is a virtue. I shall wait for the buzz to die down.

her folly comes in a rush.

I haven't been to gym for the past two days. Fats are overflowing. Ewww. Hahaha.
-

Dance with Chun later. :))) And I'm hoping that Monday's BFH won't end too late 'cause I so do not want to miss my last Aerobics class before we break for umm... a break. Haha. It commences again in May. Gahhh... I can't wait for Wednesday's dance. It's gonna be popping and locking. Something which I have been DYING to learn.
-

I got the letter fron NUS and I haven't got any idea if I should go for it. Right now, right here, I have zero interest in it at all. BUT it's a once-in-a-lifetime kind of chance. And I did work towards it in secondary school and college. BUT BUT the thing is when I applied for it, I didn't even care for it. I didn't even mention it when people asked me what I applied for. BUT BUT BUT you never know something until you have tried it right?

OH GOOD GAWD. I wish that when we were born, everything has been decided. Like our schools, CCAs, careers, soulmates... EVERYTHING. I hate all this decision-making business. I hate to choose.

And for pete's sake, I hate hate hate meddling into other people's matters.
-

Fiq is right. Just keep to yourself. Don't unload your problems onto others and don't don't don't touch other people's business. It's inane.
-

COLDFISHCOLDFISHCOLDFISHCOLDFISHCOLDFISHCOLDFISHCOLDFISH
i'm so dreading it.
-

My head's in a mess.

Joy unspeakable that won't go away.

I'm so psych up for dance later. It's been so long (Like a good one year.)!!! And it's gonna be Bryan's class (I'm quite intimidated actually. Heh.). YAYAYAYAYA! I only hope and hope that my stiff body will get the moves.
-

Stupid body.

The Morning News

In this spirit, sort of, if you read him the following bit from Brian Moore’s great novel, The Luck of Ginger Coffey, and there’s a spark of recognition or even something like exhilaration flickers across his face—he loves you, and he could very well continue to love you for a long, long time. Yes, it’s a test:

Love isn’t an act, it’s a whole life. It’s staying with her now because she needs you; it’s knowing you and she will still care about each other when sex and daydreams, fights and futures—when all that’s on the shelf and done with. Love—why, I’ll tell you what love is: it’s you at seventy-five and her at seventy-one, each of you listening for the other’s step in the next room, each afraid that a sudden silence, a sudden cry, could mean a lifetime’s talk is over.

(Does He Love You? by Pasha Malla)

from Anmari's blog

"If she loves you, if she really loves you, you’ll know it. If you can wake up to her staring at you and it’s not even mildly creepy, if you catch her smelling the shoulder of the hooded sweatshirt you lent her for an autumn walk at the beach, and not for B.O., if she makes you a pancake in the shape of a shark, if she calls you drunkenly at four in the morning “to talk,” if she laughs at your jokes when they’re funny and makes fun of you when they’re not, if she keeps her fridge stocked with Guinness tallboys for when you come over, if she tells you how she wishes she were closer to her sister and that her dad makes her sad: She loves you, of course she loves you." (Does She Love You? by Pasha Malla)

go away, buster.

he has stupid mood swings. tofu.
he makes it hard to talk to him. and he says that i'm quiet.

i don't even know when you want and don't want me around. okay, fine. so maybe you don't want me around EVER because i'm so bloody dense anyway.

then don't go around making stupid, STUPID comments.

gawd. he's the toughest person to figure out. like sometimes he's SUPER nice and other times, he's a complete cold fish.

remind me again why i bother. *rolls eyes*
-

On a lighter note, Hisham makes me laugh a hell lot. He makes me go high on MSN. Hahaha! :)))

I think I might kill myself soon. The amount that I have spent and wasted is humongous for a severely broke 20-year-old. As much as I love to happily sweep it to the back of my head, I can't. The little midget has lost it. Big time.

I shall treat it as investment. (But the fact that I'm bunking off Japanese Class tonight doesn't help!!! I think I'm falling sick and I have yet to touch my homework. Sorry parents!!!)
-

I promise, promise, promise that tonight, I will complete my homework and do up the worksheets for Electromagnetism. And I'll sleep early. (Hisham was a distraction last night. His fault, his fault!!! HAHA.)
-

Today, I keyed in 333 chocolaty danishes.

You've had me on a hop for quite sometime.

Gawd. The feeling of liberation after pulling the plug on a job is first-class!!! (Nevermind the fact that there is a naggy voice in the back of my head that is reminding me of the severe reduction in my income.) I'm done with 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' for the 2nd time and gosh, Luke is utterly the epitome of SHEER PERFECTION. Sigh sigh sigh. He and Becky are absolutely the consummate couple!!! As frivolous as chicklits can get, I love them to bits. They make our bleak lives so darn peachy. Nevermind that they do not belong to reality. We all need that bit of fantasy in our lives. :)))
-

I spent the entire morning being my MTV junkie self. The All-American Rejects rock. David Cook has the sexiest voice ever. The Click Five made me happy with 'Summertime'. And the fact that I'm gonna spring a surprise on Chua bestie later is making me a really, really happy girl! (I'm gonna turn up at her doorstep with 3 packets of juice, one packet of udon noodles and... some other random stuff. Like shampoo maybe. Or Lavender spray. She'll completely, absolutely and crazily flip. From horror. HAHAHA!!!)

Yes, there's the little midget in me that's screaming "MONEY!!!". But really, don't rain on my parade okay?!? Not today, at least.

And oh yes!!! I'm gonna get myself the K-Palette eyeliner that is so raved about on Cozycot and a milk cleanser. I feel like Cleopatra already. Haha.
-

And I'm gonna try and see if I can get myself more of the Shopaholic books from the library. :)))
-

Just in case I don't get to blog tomorrow...

ZITING LOVE, HAVE A CRAZY LOVELY TIME WITH BENGHUAT IN TAIWAN!!!

dance because you want it in your blood.

I'm gonna quit relief teaching. It's just gonna be God, Starbucks, Japanese, English, aerobics and dance dance dance. Aerobics and dance will be in the evenings. That way, when poly starts, I'll be able to do the opening shifts. Graveyards even, since Mum seems to have no objections about them anymore. See? The schedule is almost perfect!
-

And being fully cognizant of the fact that I'm the sort of girl who attracts EVERY single type of hiccups/ blips on earth, please, pretty please, please, please God, let it all work out!
-

Still, sigh.
Goodbye to $65 a day.

and she said it sotto voce.

Dance was fab.
I still can't get the groove though.

-

I want life to be full of dance and aerobics. :)))

my balloon is up in the clouds and i can't see it.

I would have used the word 'deprived/ desperate' on you if we were what we were before. How much things have changed. It sucks that politeness gets in the way now.
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Today was the lousiest day in many, many weeks. (Friday was fab because it was spent watching rom-com 'Confessions of a Shopaholic' with ZT. Luke is beyond perfection. I seriously hope that she still has moolah on Monday. Please do!!!) Maybe it was due to lack of sleep, or certain decisions made or because of the reactions of certain people... Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong. Nothing was right at all. I missed Worship 'cause I had to go to A2 to pass Abang Sam some card and paper and then, make a trip to EP to pass Anqi gloves and stirrers. I was hoping that Worship could be the brightening spark in an oh-so-bloody-bleak day. I very nearly wanted to bunk off church, rent a DVD, go home, play sick and just curl up in bed in front of the TV with my bolster (Dad THREW it away. My bolster since f-o-r-e-v-e-r. He claimed that it was mangled cloths. *cries*) while the rest go to Grandaunt's place because I was dead tardy, knackered and just wasn't in the mood for anything else. But, as always, Jesus is and will always be the strongest pillar that I have in my life. Thank you for the song 'Overcome'. I want to be able to do so by Your blood, and only by Yours.
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Hopped on a bus to Afghanistan and spent quite a bit on toiletries. I love walking through that area. It makes me feel grounded. Haha. Even though night fell by the time I was done, I still walked home (A friggin' scary journey home. Badly-illuminated streets, crazy dogs barking like they are on their deathbeds...) . Without my iPod. I haven't done so in a long while and it's surprising how refreshing it can get. You ruminate. It reminds me of a comprehension which we did last year; everyone else is just so caught up with the world that we forget to run through our own thoughts, take a breather from the day's happenings... We just let everything rush through us.

I thought about how I keep losing focus in the things that I want to achieve. I need to be pushed into a corner before I do something about it. But that shouldn't be the case. Procrastination has reared its ugly head in me, and it has done so for tens and thousands of years. It's disgusting. And then my thoughts were shifted to the fact that how I think so little nowadays. I'm just taking a day as it is, without re-evaluating anything. You lose maturity in that way. You forget what's important in life. You can no longer get the big picture. You're just concentrating on details that are superfluous. Life no longer teaches you anything.
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When I reached the playground, a little boy on a bike shouted that he saw a shooting star. And then I realized that I no longer look at the sky. I used to do it all the time. When we were supposed to be singing the National Athem and saying the pledge, my eyes are raised to the sky. On school buses, I would want the seat beside the driver, just so that I could look at the clouds and form things with them.

Clouds are the most majestic things on Earth. (Not that stars aren't. I used to hate nights because they are all so black. Like black = monsters = scary. Haha. It's really cause you never know what's really out there. The unknown.)
I lost that part of me too.
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I hope that my next date will be spent watching clouds drift by, pink cocktails with little green paper umbrellas by our side.

Just you and me and our clouds (and insect repellent).

Cigarette smoke in your face.

it's so friggin' unfair that our friendship died just 'cause i didn't want it to be anything more.

Have Greek?

I'm attempting to be smarter. Really.
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And why is it that everyone else's hair grow so insanely fast, while mine's stuck in this a-hell-lot-shorter-a-hell-lot-messier Amy Winehouse style? (Haha. Now, that's a tad far. Mine is just plain fugly.)
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'Captain Planet was created with the intent of entertaining viewers and increasing awareness of environmental hazards. He has a very impressive array of powers: he can fly, has great strength (enough to throw a small asteroid from Earth all the way to Jupiter), the ability to blow hurricane force winds, telepathy, telekinesis, shapeshifting, matter transmutation, and virtually any other super-power required by the circumstances currently facing him, which, in fact was one of the criticisms against the show (for example, in one episode, it is revealed that Captain Planet has the ability to execute computer programming commands normally associated with anti-virus software). Much like Superman relative to kryptonite, Captain Planet also possesses weaknesses to pollution, radiation, toxic waste, smog, etc. In one episode, when he meets The Führer, a character based on Hitlet, he compares prejudice and hatred to a pollutant.'
(from wikipedia.org)

Ummm... Wow. I didn't know the above. He's even political.
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lost and insecure,
you found me.